The first time I ever had the living bejeezus scared out of me was on November 17, 1979. Let me explain.

Even though I was only 6 years old, I loved watching horror movies. I called them "scary" movies, and every Friday, I got to eat popcorn and watch a show called Friday Night Frights, which showed classic horror movies like Dracula and Frankenstein. These didn't scare me at all. I thought of these monsters like a subdivision of superheroes. Frankenstein's monster was like a darker version of the Hulk, and I grouped Dracula in with Superman and all the other people with powers and capes.

So anyway, I liked scary movies. But I had never seen a real terrifying horror movie. That all changed on November 17, 1979 when I saw the made-for-TV movie, Salem's Lot. Gawd. I can't believe they actually showed that film on network TV. No child should ever, ever watch that movie. For months afterward, I knew there were 12-year-old demons floating in the fog outside my bedroom window. And don't even get me started on that bald, green-skinned freak with the teeth.

Since I still love horror movies of all kinds, I decided about a year ago to finally re-watch Salem's Lot, preparing to laugh at how silly and childish it was to be afraid of it. No. No, no, no. It is still awful. I mean, I'm not afraid of it anymore, but it is one of the scarier movies on film, especially for kids. If you really want to fuck up your child's brain, go ahead and show it to them. They'll end up like me. Now, that is scary.

While I was researching the date that Salem's Lot aired on TV, I found out that they're making a new version which is sure to suck. It's coming out this year, and stars Rob Lowe. Gee.
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