I demand that characters be unpretentious.
There is absolutely nothing worse than reading about some Art History professor sipping wine and solving the mystery of her own geneology. You just know you're reading about the fantasy life of the author -- what he or she wishes life were like. Gross.

I like books about dark, seedy underworlds.
I love knowing that while most of us are going about our normal routines, going to and from work, etc., there are people who don't live like that at all. Charles Jackson handled the subject really well in his novels about alcoholics, prostitues, and early 20th-Century homosexuals. But even books that are literally about other worlds appeal to me, especially if those worlds are dark and seedy extra dimensions. Think The Wind-up Bird Chronicle.

I like books that involve chasing.
OK, laugh. But I love chase scenes, especially when the chase scene goes on for days and the protagonist has to find unorthodox places to sleep and eat, and meets people along the way, like in the movie Three Days of the Condor. The best kind of chasing is when the protagonist is pursuing someone while simultaneously being hunted by the authorities. Awesome.

I like heroic characters that are deeply flawed.
If I wanted to read about Superman or Mother Theresa, I would. I like my characters to have great weaknesses, to often trip and fall over their own hubris. I like stories about bums and losers who must rise to the occasion. They don't have to succeed, but I should feel a connection to them.

I like stories about downward spirals.
It's a formula, but a good one. An average person like you or me ends up hitting rock bottom in some way. How did they get there? It's a shorter trip than we might care to believe.

I like brief, shocking sex scenes.

It's pretty hard to shock me with overtly graphic scenes. But a well-constructed kinky detail dropped at just the right place has the ability to make me scream or gasp. I like to scream or gasp.

I like vivid settings.
Whether it's a crumbling housing project, a moldy Southern mansion, or a plastic suburban community, that's what I'm looking for. I guess it's because the thing I look for most in a story is mood. And mood runs deep, into every crevice and detail.

This last is probably the best example of why awful literature can teach you more than good literature. Because when something is done wrong, it stands out. But when a story is well-written, you don't quite know where the mood comes from. Why do you feel the way you do when you read a good story? It's almost impossible to explain in full. There are too many factors, and most are invisible.
--------