People Behind Me | This is my #1 hate. It's OK if the person behind me is someone I know. And it's OK if there are a lot of people behind me. But having a few people behind me makes me utterly uncomfortable. The place where it bothers me most is in the movie theater. Once again -- it's OK if the theater is packed, but if there are seats everywhere and someone chooses to sit right behind me, I have to move. One time someone behind me at the theater spilled a jumbo Coke all over the place, which might be where this hatred originated.

At one of my former jobs, my office was arranged so that my desk faced the wall opposite the door. I'd be working or screwing around or whatever, and people would come into my office and suddenly be right behind me. I'd wheel around with a coffee mug clenched in my fist, ready to defend my life. Worst. Feng Shui. Ever.

Plastic Shopping Carts | This is a sound issue. Regular metal shopping carts are fine. In fact, the sound they make is kind of pleasant. But plastic shopping carts like the ones at Target, Kmart, etc. make me want to pull out my own eyelashes. I have no idea why this is.

The Voices Of Some 4-Year-Old Girls | Another sound issue, which when combined with plastic carts, can make me flee Wal-Mart in a blind panic (which is ideally how one should always flee Wal-Mart). Again, I'm not talking about ALL 4-year-old girls -- not by a long shot. And to give them credit, they always grow out of this phase and become normal children, and eventually normal adults. But there are certain kids who for a certain period of their lives speak in a voice that is amazingly loud, screechy, and repetitive. Yes, Skyler, we know that your doll pisses herself. Now just be quiet for a time while I collect my eardrums from the floor.
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