So I bought this new Handsome Boy Modeling School album, White People, and my assessment is that it's the muvvafukkin business. Of course, you could say that about any album that includes the words "featuring Father Guido Sarducci," but this album has one song that leaps off the plastic and knocks you out with a Taser, and that song is "I've Been Thinking" featuring none other than Cat Power.

This song is way too sexy to even exist, and not just because of the smooth beat. To hear Cat Power sing, "You can slide, slide, slippity slide, you can hip hop and don't stop" ... how am I supposed to take that?

Plus there's the usual HBMS skits, including some takes on The Dating Game and some etiquette advice from Chest Rockwell ("You gotta fart, you wait until after the date is over when you go home. That is when you do your fartin'."), and some sweet hip hop action. So I got this baby off the Internet (I actually bought it) and went to work.

On my way to work, I stopped by the supermarket to get something for lunch, because I really didn't feel like eating a lunch consisting exclusively of foods in bar form. On my way out, I noticed a piece of paper tacked to the bulletin board near the exit. The ad said this:

Chest freezer
grate for deer

I prefer to think these are two different items, and that the first item is some sort of ray gun.

When I got to work, the first thing I did was pick up my check. The second thing I did was look at it, and the third thing I did was practically faint. See, this is the first check I've received since doing the full-on night-shift action. And it's huge! Well, not huge, but it looks like this month I can actually pay my bills AND eat! And that's something! Let's hear it for money.

I also believe I've saved a lot of money lately because, suddenly, it's like I don't drink anymore. Working nights has a lot to do with it. It isn't very much fun to drink at 5am, because, among other things, when you wake up at noon to pee, the sun is screaming in the windows and every cell in your body is telling you it's daytime, stupid, and you'll never get back to sleep. So it's been almost two weeks since I imbibed, and that was only because I was hanging out with Buck Satan.

The funny thing is, I don't even miss it. And maybe I'll lose a bunch of weight. That is, if I can manage to stay away from food that's in bar form.

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