Of all the reading material that people leave around my workplace, Living Stones News, a local Christian tabloid, has to be one of the most bizarre.

Although I don't agree with a lot of the paper's agenda, I always read Living Stones, because if there's one thing that impresses me about the power of religion, it's the power it has to get people to talk about things they never otherwise would.

Take this month's issue for example. The lead story is about a man who is trying to overcome his addiction to porn and masturbation. The whole time I was reading it, I was trying to imagine any other local publication, such as the Reader Weekly or the Ripsaw approaching someone and saying, "What we'd like to do is write a feature article about your outrageous masturbatory habits. We want to use your real name, and have a big picture of you on the front page burning a porno mag." Do you think anyone would go for that?

Most of the lead stories in Living Stones are about sex, drugs, or something equally lurid. There's this article where a couple talks about their infidelity and drug addiction. This man attempted suicide 12 times. And then there's the man who gave up overworking, drinking and fist-fighting.

As I said, I don't agree with most of this paper's world view. Take the porn guy for example. All along the article talks about his obsessive Bible studies, but it never mentions that perhaps that obsession contributed to his obsession with normal bodily functions by casting them in an evil, forbidden place. The rejection of moderation is never a healthy thing in my opinion, and this is just one of the sore spots I have with this paper.

Still, slanted though it is, the honesty in these stories is refreshing compared to most of the canned crap being published these days. And I can't help but imagine someone attempting to print similar stories without the Jesus angle, in a more objective journalistic spirit, without judgement or political purpose. Who's doing those interviews?

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6 Comments:

maria said...

i thought you wrote that the crazy christian dude gave up "overworking, drinking and fisting." shit, man. if jesus don't want me to fist, than i don't want nothin to do with jesus. i need a god who smiles upon the practice of forcibly inserting oversized objects into body cavities.

11:15 AM  

c-freak said...

actually my dear, you don't FORCIBLY insert said objects(not that i know anything about this act). where do you think astroglide comes from? heaven of course!

11:32 AM  

Barrett said...

I want to see an instructional fisting pamphlet featuring a cute cartoon mascot. "Fisty sez: 'Don't forget the lube!'"

4:31 PM  

maria said...

of course you're not supposed to really force-fist someone, but the word "forcible" is just so neat. it makes the whole image seem TOTALLY HOT.

i agree on the astroglide too. thumbs up to astroglide! thumbs up...your butt! that's right, both of 'em just slide right in there thanks to the lube! which i keep in a 50-gallon barrel by my bed! not to be confused with the 50-gallon barrel of paint thinner! also located by my bed! i would not recommend putting it on your cock! it is only for the nose! yes indeed!

10:19 AM  

c-freak said...

you should have warned me...it melted my cock!

1:04 PM  

Anonymous said...

but BUT...
back to the "Living Stones"--which is a damn funny paper-name when we're talking about Masturbation Addiction Guy...
this is my favorite quote:
“It started a steady habit of masturbation. Nobody wants to say that (word), but that’s what the addiction really is — the masturbation.”

AND, runner-up:
"his lengthy enslavement to erotic literature was caused more by an inability to find a way out than from a lack of trying. He lived a Christian Jekyll and Hyde existence."

because the non-christian Jekyll and Hyde ... well.

i sold porn for 8 years, BTW, and he was not one of our regulars. sounds like he never got to experience the sin of specialty mags like Pony Girls and Big Black Cocks. poor sap.

and i think i know the chick whose boots are hanging up behind the fighting and fisting guy. that pic is priceless: i think someone should grab it and attach it to an article about a serial killer. "These are just some of my precious trophies. It's been a long haul, but I come here to sit amongst them when I'm feeling frustrated."

(hbh)

2:02 PM  

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Barrett Chase is the creator of Barrett Chase Dot Com, a text-based blog that ran from February, 2003 - February, 2005. The Product is a new vision and a new start. You may contact him by emailing bchase at gmail dot com.

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