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>> Thirty Days Notice

Subtitle: An Open Letter to My Neighborhood

Dear West Duluth,

I am writing to inform you that one month from today I will stop being a West Duluthian and start being a Hillsider. Yes, after a lifetime of living in the 55807 ZIP code, I will move downtown to 55805.

This may come as something of a shock to you, but perhaps not. I know we have not been on the best of terms ever since I spent all that time dating that girl from Cakeside. I would like to remind you, however, that she did in fact drive a bitchin' muscle car -- a 1975 Olds Cutlass Supreme in near-mint condish -- and that I did in fact convince her to move to West Duluth.

Anyway, I feel it is time for me to broaden my horizons. An inadvertantly wise friend of mine, who now lives in Africa, once said that West Duluth has very few ambassadors out there in the world. I would like to consider myself West Duluth's Hillside ambassador. Yes, yes, I know that Lundgren is already there. But he lives in the Central Hillside. I will be living in the East Hillside, practically a whole mile away. You of all neighborhoods should realize the difference a mile can make.

Speaking of which, I would like to emphasize that I will continue to champion your cause, West Duluth. I will continue to point out the vast difference between West Duluth and the West End whenever necessary, and will not allow anyone to get away with confusing the two terms. I will explain whenever necessary that there really aren't that many mullets in West Duluth (anymore), and that West Duluth has the most profitable business district in the city with the exception of the Miller Hill Mall area. I will remind people that Beaner's Central is the best coffeehouse in the city. And I will let people know that if they want to drink $3 quarts (yes, quarts) of beer, there are three bars in West Duluth willing to serve it with a smile. I will consider Miss West Duluth to be my royalty, and try my hardest to promote the Sunshine Cafe.

So consider me your ambassador, West Duluth, or perhaps a missionary. Remember, you can take the boy out of the neighborhood, but you can't take the neighborhood out of the boy.

See you at the street dance,
Barrett Chase

* * *

posted 3.01.2005 at 4:03 PM

11 Comments:

Paul said...: I still live on the west side of Lake Avenue. I think of myself as a lookout for the west side, keeping my eye on the east side from my border post. But you're stepping right into the bakery. I'll never look at you the same.; 7:43 AM
c-freak said...: i for one can't wait for the street dance!; 10:44 AM
maria said...: welcome to the hood, baby.; 5:02 PM
McDowell said...: This is totally off topic. Barret can you get me like a 16x14 of Kathy and Venus making out? I want it to decorate my living space.

I will of course pay for any expenses incurred while producing the enlargement and give you a case of whatever beer tickles your fancy.; 12:33 PM
Barrett said...: I think that would totally creep Cathie out. So, like, no. Sorry.; 5:38 PM
McDowell said...: No shit? But when would Cathie ever be in my apartment? Besides I want it because it is a kickass photograph not because it gets me off.; 9:41 AM
c-freak said...: you should have seen it in real time! yowsa!; 10:10 AM
Barrett said...: McDowell, the other problem is just that it's a low-quality photograph. I suggest you grab the one that's currently on the Cruise Director and then use this tool to make it as huge as you want:

http://homokaasu.org/rasterbator/

In fact, I might want to have one of those.; 6:15 PM
McDowell said...: Cruise director? A link please?; 9:16 AM
McDowell said...: Nevermind, found it.; 11:20 AM
McDowell said...: Disregard the last comment, I figured it out.; 1:49 PM

>> About this site

Barrett Chase is the creator of Barrett Chase Dot Com, a text-based blog that ran from February, 2003 - February, 2005. The Product is a new vision and a new start. You may contact him by emailing bchase at gmail dot com.