Subtitle: An Open Letter to My Neighborhood

Dear West Duluth,

I am writing to inform you that one month from today I will stop being a West Duluthian and start being a Hillsider. Yes, after a lifetime of living in the 55807 ZIP code, I will move downtown to 55805.

This may come as something of a shock to you, but perhaps not. I know we have not been on the best of terms ever since I spent all that time dating that girl from Cakeside. I would like to remind you, however, that she did in fact drive a bitchin' muscle car -- a 1975 Olds Cutlass Supreme in near-mint condish -- and that I did in fact convince her to move to West Duluth.

Anyway, I feel it is time for me to broaden my horizons. An inadvertantly wise friend of mine, who now lives in Africa, once said that West Duluth has very few ambassadors out there in the world. I would like to consider myself West Duluth's Hillside ambassador. Yes, yes, I know that Lundgren is already there. But he lives in the Central Hillside. I will be living in the East Hillside, practically a whole mile away. You of all neighborhoods should realize the difference a mile can make.

Speaking of which, I would like to emphasize that I will continue to champion your cause, West Duluth. I will continue to point out the vast difference between West Duluth and the West End whenever necessary, and will not allow anyone to get away with confusing the two terms. I will explain whenever necessary that there really aren't that many mullets in West Duluth (anymore), and that West Duluth has the most profitable business district in the city with the exception of the Miller Hill Mall area. I will remind people that Beaner's Central is the best coffeehouse in the city. And I will let people know that if they want to drink $3 quarts (yes, quarts) of beer, there are three bars in West Duluth willing to serve it with a smile. I will consider Miss West Duluth to be my royalty, and try my hardest to promote the Sunshine Cafe.

So consider me your ambassador, West Duluth, or perhaps a missionary. Remember, you can take the boy out of the neighborhood, but you can't take the neighborhood out of the boy.

See you at the street dance,
Barrett Chase
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