Here's a meme I'm stealing from this site, which I found via this site. It is, in my opinion, the best way to appreciate a song.

"Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley

I. Things Mr. Astley is never gonna do
    A. Give you up
    B. Let you down
    C. Run around
        1. Desert you
    D. Make you cry
    E. Say goodbye
    F. Tell a lie
        1. Hurt you

II. Things Mr. Astley is currently doing
    A. Thinking of a full commitment

III. Things Mr. Astley plans to do in the future
    A. Tell you how he's feeling
    B. Make you understand

IV. Things you and Mr. Astley have been doing simultaneously
    A. Knowing the rules
    B. Knowing what's been going on
    C. Knowing the game
        1. Mr. Astley predicts you will play it

V. Things Mr. Astley does not want you to do
    A. Tell him you're too blind to see
    B. Get this from any other guy

"Just Lose It" by Eminem

I. Things Eminem has touched on
    A. Everything but little boys
        1. Is not a stab at Michael
            a. Is just a metaphor
                i. Eminem is psycho

II. Facts regarding Friday
    A. It's Eminem's day
        1. Plans to party
            a. All the way to Sunday
                i. Maybe 'til Monday, Eminem is not sure what day
        2. Plans to cruise on the freeway
            a. Will feel kinda breezy
                i. Top down
                ii. Allowing hair to blow
                iii. Someone will touch Eminem's body at unknown destination

III. Requests Eminem makes
    A. From Everyone
        1. Report to the dance floor
        2. Stop
            a. Pyjama time
        3. Lose it
        4. Just go "huhhuhhuhhuh"
            a. It's so appeasin'
    B. From Boy (Oops, I mean Girl)
        1. Shake that ass
        2. Touch my body
    C. From Kiddies
        1. Come here
            a. On Eminem's lap
    D. From Good God
        1. Dip
        2. Do a little slide
        3. Bend down
            a. Touch your toes
        4. Glide down the center of the dance floor
            a. Like TP for Eminem's bunghole
        5. Let one go
            a. Give a little "poot poot"
            b. Who'd hear it?
                i. Nobody
    E. From Miss
        1. Punch him in the stomach
        2. Pull his hair
        3. Spit on him
        4. Gouge his eyes out
    F. From Girl
        1. Name
        2. Sign
    G. From Fellas
        1. Grab your left nut
            a. Make your right one jealous

IV. Facts regarding Tuesday
    A. Eminem is locked up in jail
        1. Has no recollection, yet claims innocence
        2. Was apprehended "butt naked"
        3. Yelled at old lady to "touch my body"
            a. On videotape

V. Types of girls Eminem is calling
    A. Black girls
    B. White girls
    C. Skinny girls
    D. Fat girls
    E. Tall girls
    F. Small girls
    G. All girls

VI. Dr. Dre's assessment
    A. "Man you must be up out your mind."

VII. Things that happen at the part when the rap breaks down
    A. It gets real intense
        1. No one makes a sound
    B. Everything looks like it's 8 Mile

VIII. Things Eminem says when he doesn't have any lines
    A. Chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba chubby
    B. Chubby Teletubbie

*     *     *

5 Comments:

LavaLady said...

Wow, this is hilarious! I've never appreciated Eminem as much as I do at this moment.

I've always appreciated Rick Astley, but now I know *why*.

9:29 AM  

Anonymous said...

except that i learned in elementary school that you canNOT have an A without a B, or a 1 without a 2.

not that i really agreed, but the old installation of Outline Creation made by Mrs. Hemmeter in my brain doesn't allow it to happen.

12:48 PM  

Paul Lundgren said...

Things David Lee Roth likes:

1) The little way the line runs up the back of the stockings.

2) Those kind of high heels.

A. She should not take them off.

B. She should leave them on.

C. And something should occur a little more to the right.

10:56 AM  

Tim said...

I) Things I never knew
A. What a stalker Rick Astley is
B. How much I could dislike Eminem
C. That my right nut could actually
envy my left nut. It must be my
strong hands.

6:36 PM  

Bob said...

Things David Lee Roth wants to know:
1) How much do I pay you for a buttfuck?

2:11 PM  

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Barrett Chase is the creator of Barrett Chase Dot Com, a text-based blog that ran from February, 2003 - February, 2005. The Product is a new vision and a new start. You may contact him by emailing bchase at gmail dot com.

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