TV news does a lot to piss me off. And it really is my fault, because, well, why am I even watching this crap?

But one thing that truly chaps my ass is when they talk about "your weekend," or when they discuss "your work week," or when they talk about "what to expect on your holiday." Listen: this artificial schedule of yours has nothing to do with me. For me, weeks, weekends, and holidays are meaningless.

Like a whole lot of other people, I don't get up and go to work in the morning. I don't drive during so-called "drive time." I don't spend a lot of time thinking about what I'm going to buy at Home Depot this weekend or what I'm going to eat at Applebee's. I don't own a dog. And I certainly don't get three days off to honor Christopher Fucking Columbus. So please, stop talking to me as if I do.

There are so many people -- cab drivers, waiters, nurses, and yes, postal workers -- whose lives exist completely outside the schedule officially deemed as "normal." What do these people do with themselves? What do you do when you get off work at an hour when, aside from bars, most businesses are closed? Do you go to sleep immediately, then get up early? Or, like me, do you stay up all night putting weird shit onto the internet?

I have always been nocturnal. I remember my dad talking to me about it once when I was about 12. "It's not good for you," he said. "Why?" I asked, halfway appalled. "Because you're spending too much time alone. You don't get to interact with people."

That sounded pretty good to me. I had five brothers and sisters, a mom and dad, and a grandpa. I was tired of interacting with people. I wanted to interact with Showtime After Hours and my Commodore VIC-20.

Now, things are a bit different, however. While I still love B-movies and microchips, lack of socialization is my number one complaint. Oh, sure I do plenty of awesome things like go to shows and to bars and random peoples' apartments. I do have days off and I don't get off work that late. But I'm talking about quiet socialization. The "Hi, how was your day?" kind of socialization. The "Let's just have a sandwich and watch TV" kind of socialization. Until you're deprived of it, you'd be surprised how much that kind of stuff builds up, and you don't appreciate how nice it actually is.

Which brings me back to my original point: I know there are tons of people out there who are in a similar predicament of being forced into a kind of solitude by the established schedule. Not that I expect an answer on this blog, but I wonder what they do about it. And I wonder how I can meet them.

I suspect that a lot of people give up. Maybe it doesn't seem like giving up to them, but to me it does. Maybe they stay home all the time and play with their cats. Well, if that works for them, that's great. But it wouldn't work for me. It would seem like giving up.

Most of my co-workers have families. I imagine that they come home and talk some with their spouse and that is probably pretty nice. They're probably frustrated for other reasons, like maybe they don't get enough time with their kids or their spouse. This problem of mine probably doesn't even occur to them.

It's awful. It truly is. But I have to say that personally, it is not nearly as awful as having to wake up to a screeching alarm clock every morning, or having to wear a tie every day, or having a job that gives you a fat ass.

Or having a job that doesn't pay a million dollars an hour, for that matter.