Giving Up the Fight
February 7, 2006 :: Link :: Journal
OK, so, I belong to this club called Mix Tape Madness. It works like this: 1) We all pick a month. 2) When our month arrives, we make a mix and mail it to all the other members. 3) The rest of the year, we kick back and get tons of free stuff in the mail.
So last month was my month to mix it up. All the previous mixes were really clever and entertaining and full of great music. But none of them were hot. I had a pretty hot MP3 playlist going for *ahem* certain reasons, so I thought I'd make that into my mix. A sex mix. Because someone has to, obviously.
But the mix isn't what I want to talk about. Not exactly. I specifically want to talk about the second song on the mix, "Giving Up the Fight" by Eleni Mandell.
"Giving Up the Fight" is, to me at least, the sexiest song of all time. The song is about putting away childish things. It's about performing the hideous, sinful, shameful act of becoming an effing adult.
One weird thing about me is that I almost never, ever get nervous around women, no matter how attractive they are. The one time I met Eleni Mandell, I fucken almost fainted. And by most standards, she's not even very good-looking at all. Still, if she asked if she could borrow my wallet, I would just give it to her. And then I would drool all over myself. And probably run away.
Anyway, back to the point. I've been thinking a lot lately about adulthood. In the past six weeks, at least two visitors to my home have commented on how "grown-up" it is. (And both are older than me.) People talk about how I have a grown-up job, but still, they ask me what I want to be when I grow up. I am 33. Do you know what I want to do? I want to make a great wage working for the government while doing a lot of cool shit on the side -- that's what I want to do.
I am an adult. And this is who I am. It's the result of what I've been working on for my whole life.
Nothing is more liberating than this realization. What you are doing right now? That is what you are. You have nothing to prove to anyone. You don't have to move to Israel or learn Portugese to make yourself admirable. You want to know what admirable is? Raising a child, that's what. Getting up in the morning and going to work. Or just doing whatever it is that you want to do, but dare not tell anyone for fear of being uncool. Despite what they teach you on TV, everything mundane is admirable.
And it's really fricken hot. I'm announcing it now -- boring is the new sexy.
In the "About" section of this site I wrote "Depth is better than breadth." Think about it. Which is harder? Living in question, constantly reinventing yourself, and saying you are a work in progress? Or saying, "This is who I am and this is what I stand for, feel free to judge me"?
Yes.
The song is sexy, it's true, but accomplishing it is the sexiest thing there is.
Comments
Yes, this is all very, very true. My only regret is it took twenty-seven years and a failed marriage for me to figure it out.
Posted by: Anna | February 7, 2006 9:01 AM
Right on Barrett. I feel the same way. Thats why I gave up the bar scene about 3 years ago. Nothing wrong with going out and having a drink with friends but when it was every day and the gossip.... Home became a much nicer place to be and cheaper. If I didn't change to this "adult life" Im sure I wouldn't be into my photoblog and Im sure I would not have my daughter and girlfriend. Life is good! Keep it up. Aaron
Posted by: Aaron | February 7, 2006 9:19 AM
Nice words. I am in the Mix Tape Madness, I have August. Nice Mix by the way.
Like you I work for the Gov here in Duluth, so I can do my shit on the side. I was single until the last few years. Now I have wife and her, our twins, 6 years old. This was the best thing that ever happened to me. Your words had, and may continue to have an impact on me. I have been struggling with "am I meeting my full potential". Thoughts of traveling the world fighting for human rights has crossed my mind many times. Moving to D.C. to work my way up in the public sector to have a greater impact on society is also hiding back in my brain somewhere. I need to remember why I moved up here, it was for the kids, my wife, and me.
I must explain that previous to this move to Duluth, I had many adventures; The States, Nova Scotia, Iraq, Texas, etc.... Before all this I studied fine art.
Now I am trying to find that happy medium. Trying to be content. But it is more than that. I should stop wasting time worrying about saving the planet, country, state, county, and maybe even the city. Maybe I should be more concerned about being the best, supportive father I can, be the best husband I can be, become the best neighbor I can stomach, etc.... So, thanks for your words, I have been thinking about this subject for awhile.
Thanks for the Mix.
I am still working on my idea.
It is a toss up.
1. South American Sci-Fi Sound Track
or
2.Tribute to Detroit (my home town), best Detroit/Michigan Mix.
I dropped my third Idea of packaging a Death Metal Album in a full size coffin.
No one seemed to like that idea.
Posted by: Fierst | February 7, 2006 9:41 AM
I just heard this quote by Spanish Philosopher, Ortega y Gasset.
“A hero is someone who wants to be himself.”
Indeed. Though, I don't know anything else about the guy and his over-all philosophy. But I like that line.
Nice post.
Posted by: pansy | February 7, 2006 9:58 AM
that song is hot. i mean, even without the meaning behind it, which i probably wouldn't have seen. it's hotttt.
Posted by: anniemosity | February 8, 2006 12:51 AM
How does one become a member of the Mix Tape Madness?
Posted by: Home Detention Lady | February 12, 2006 9:00 PM
Unfortunately, the club is more than full right now. But there's nothing preventing you from starting something similar.
Posted by: Barrett | February 13, 2006 3:53 AM