Open Letter to Netflix
February 8, 2006 :: Link :: Textuality
Dear Netflix,
I would like to start by telling you how much I enjoy the opportunities you provide for me. While I don't make a whole lot of use of your movie choices, you allow me to watch television in the way I prefer: An entire season at a time. Really, I don't think a person should watch any TV show once a week, but watching an entire season at a time is one of the greatest things any human could hope to do. May we never run out of television shows.
However, I have a grievance, which you can probably tell, because I am writing an open letter.
You are trying to deceive me, and I know better.
For the past two weeks, I've mailed my selections back to you on Saturday. And so far, it takes until Wednesday for you to acknowledge that you've received them.
OK, with the normal customer, you may be able to blame this on the US Postal Service. But listen: I WORK FOR THE US POSTAL SERVICE. I know how mail works. I know that I put those DVDs into the letter tray that goes to Minneapolis on Saturday night. And I know that that tray successfully went onto the truck to Minneapolis around 10pm on Saturday.
DO NOT TRY TO TELL ME THAT YOU HAVEN'T RECEIVED IT YET. Duluth to Minneapolis is a 2.5-hour drive. It has been THREE DAYS. I should easily have my new DVDs by now. You are obviously fucking with me.
How. How the FUCK am I supposed to cope with life without a serious backload of cartoons and shows about pretty people doing charming things?
Liars. Crooks and liars. That's what you are. From now on I am going to tell everyone that you suck while I continue to do business with you. Because renting DVDs and watching broadcast TV just sucks now that I've met you.
ARRRRGH! I hate you with an almost perfect hate.
Sincerely,
Barrett Chase
Comments
Just report it lost and they will send out your new selection.
Posted by: starfire | February 8, 2006 7:21 AM
Those bastards Im sure Blockbuster is up to the same scam. They might as well deal crack on top of it. Aaron
Posted by: Aaron | February 8, 2006 10:27 AM
What email address are you on NetFlix with? I want to netflix-friend you and pillage your queue. I used my gmail.
Posted by: Sarah B. | February 8, 2006 11:31 AM
Yeah, we've noticed that same drop-off in deliveries, too--they'd come with lightning speed the first month or so that we were signed up, now we're lucky if we get three a week. Tricksy bastards.
Posted by: Mary | February 8, 2006 12:30 PM
Well, they've finally received it. (They won't let you report it as stolen until 6 days after you mailed it, or 9 days after they mailed it to you.)
Now my queue says that the next DVD in my queue is "Shipping Friday."
FRIDAY.
See, because that way I won't get it until Monday, thereby they bilk another day out of the whole deal.
*scowl*
Sarah, friend me if you wish, but my queue is full of embarrassing junkfood.
Posted by: Barrett | February 9, 2006 12:36 PM
this might be your problem.
Posted by: anniemosity | February 10, 2006 2:58 PM
I was just coming here to post that very same link...wonder if Blockbuster's program is any better. Probably not...
Posted by: Mary | February 10, 2006 4:11 PM
I knew it.
Posted by: Barrett | February 10, 2006 4:13 PM
Blockbuster is worse, I paid for the "Total Access Plan" which means that you get two movies mailed to you, you finish them, take them back to a Blockbuster location. It shows immediately that it has been turned in. Now, I live in San Antonio and they have a processing plant here in the city. Blockbuster was taking forever to send out my new movies, I complained, and it got worse, I even got phone calls saying that I had not returned movies that I hadn't even rented. They don't really mean "TOTAL ACCESS", they mean that they will send you the movie whenever they want. I just switched back to Netflix, I joined last Sunday night, I received FROM HOUSTON, 3 moves last Tuesday. I have returned one of them and it arrived from San Antonio to Houston in one day. I hope that I will have better luck with Netflix, at least they are a lot cheaper!
Posted by: Theadora | January 11, 2008 5:38 PM