First off, I will make a startling confession. I do not own, and never have owned, a cell phone.

My reluctance to embrace this particular piece of technology has always followed a certain familiar logic: "I don't want to be accessible at all times."

My life has changed so much in the past six months, however. Now, I really, really do want to be accessible at all times. Simply because most of the time that I'm accessible, everyone else is either sleeping or at work. That 15-minute window when I'm busy purchasing fan belts and chocolate soy milk? YES, CALL ME THEN. Because if you don't do it then, it won't happen at all. And by the time I get the chance to call you, it will be midnight. And calling people at midnight is just so gauche, so I probably won't do it at all.

Anyhow, here's the thing that I've noticed. Whenever you ask anyone what cellular company they use and what they think of it, no one ever says, "I use blah blah blah and it's great! I'm completely satisfied."

The best response you ever get is, "Well, the one I use is OK, I guess ... but ..."

You also get a lot of conflicting advice. One person will say, "Whatever you do, don't use Verizon. (insert horror story here) Now I use Cellular One and it's OK, I guess ... but ... "

The next person will relate the exact same story, only with the companies reversed.

Anyhow, I've realized there are two courses of action here. I can do the frugal and smart thing, getting the most functional deal for the least amount of money, or I can get the coolest-looking piece of sexy technology I can find, with the plan that allows me the longest leash.

I think you know what I'm going for. Oh yeah, baby.