Often when I go to the grocery store, I stop and read the bulletin board by the exit. It doesn't matter which grocery store I'm at, because most of the supermarkets around here have a bulletin board near the exit where people can post just about anything they want.

Most of the ads are for cars or snowmobiles. Some are for services such as yard work. Churches post a lot of invitations to meetings or to bake sales. None of these are interesting. The ads that I'm looking for are for small items. Very small, very cheap items.

It always baffles me why, if someone had something cheap and insignificant, they would take the time and effort to try to sell it. "Men's Timex Watch," one ad read, "Good condition. $5 or best offer." For a measly $5 (or best offer), someone took the time to make this ad, complete with a pencil drawing of the watch or at least a watch, and felt willing to field phone calls and invite strangers into their house to view the watch.

OK, so maybe you need that $5 and you can't scrounge up enough other crap to have a proper rummage sale. OK, I can see that. But what I can't see is the guy on the other end. The guy reading the ad and thinking, "Hmm. I don't have anything to do today. Maybe I'll call this stranger and go look at their used watch. The used watch that's priced similarly to the new watches I can buy at Walgreen's."

So you call this stranger and ask them questions about the $5 watch. How old is the watch? What kind of time does it keep? Why do you not want the watch for yourself? That kind of thing. Then, if the answers suit you, you arrange a time when you can travel to this person's house, a time when it's convenient for the both of you. You go over there and look at the watch in person.

"Hmm," you say, noticing a scratch in the watch's plastic face. "I'll give you $3 for it."

"Oh, I can't go that low," the person says. "I spent a half-hour drawing that picture and..."

"OK," you say grudgingly, "four bucks, and that's my final offer."

Is this process worth it for a $4 used watch? Is it worth it for $4?

You can see the same kind of transaction potential in the newspaper classifieds, always under the heading of "Merchandise" which is where they put the stuff that's too, well, unclassifiable. But if you're going to check the want ads for a real score of this nature, you've got to check the Lost and Found section. That's where the magic really happens.

In the Lost and Found, people report found items not for any hope of profit at all. These people have ulterior motives. Most of the Lost and Found is dominated by pets. Someone lost a Siamese cat and they're utterly heartbroken. Someone else found a black lab and they want to get it back where it belongs before it eats their entire couch. These feelings are understandable and warrant a newspaper want ad.

But sometimes the person's motives are just confusing. I recently saw a Lost and Found ad placed by someone who'd found an empty CD jewel box. "Call to identify," it said.

"Um, yeah, I'm calling about the jewel box. The album was Sports by Huey Lewis & the News, 1983. The one with 'I Want a New Drug' and 'The Heart of Rock & Roll' on it. You would have found it last Tuesday on the DTA, the Ramsey Raleigh via West 8th Street bus. Can I pick it up ASAP? I really need that back."

Listen, no jewel box I own is worth the trouble of dealing with someone who has so much time on their hands that they would go through all this to return it. This kind of thing is not done purely out of the kindness of one's heart, or because the thing that has been found is of obvious value. When I read an ad like this, I immediately think, "This is a pervert who wants to get me into his dungeon."

Great. Now I can't get "The Power of Love" out of my head. Another sleepless day for me. Maybe I'll read the want ads.