Today I got a piece of mail that said on the envelope: "URGENT!! MEDICAL EMERGENCY!!"

I don't know about you, but whenever I have a medical emergency, I use the phone. But that's just me. Other people, it seems, hire a graphic designer to design an envelope stating the urgency of the matter, then wait 2-3 days to have the envelope printed, and then send it out via third-class mail.

What really strikes me is that the junk mail was coming from a church. The first thing I'm looking for in my religious leadership is an organization that breaks a commandment right on the envelope. I don't want to trust my religious leaders for 20 years only to find out that they're child molestors or money launderers or gambling addicts. I want them to say right off the bat: We're liars. Don't believe a word we say.

That saves me a lot of time on Sunday mornings.