Recently I was thinking about the imaginary friend I had when I was a kid, and it reminded me of another similar head game I used to play as an adult. About eight or nine years ago, I used to play this gamewith myself where I imagined people explaining their purchases to the cashier when I was in line at the store. All of the explanations and descriptions were in graphic detail and came completely unsolicited.

"I like to have sex, but I'm not ready to have a family yet," one man said. "Therefore, I'm purchasing these little bags made out of latex, which is impermeable to spermatozoa. I'm going to take these home and, just before engaging in intercourse, I'll take one out of its foil wrapper and ..."

You get the point. Try it. It's fun.

"Every 28 days, the lining of my uterus breaks down and my body expels it through my vagina. Of course, I don't want to get any of this on my clothing or linens, so I plan on taking these things and ..."

"Whenever I eat food to nourish myself, my body chemically removes all of the nutrients it needs. Whatever is left over from this process, I expel through my anus. This is a messy job, let me tell you. Therefore, I'm purchasing this soft disposable paper so that I can ..."

The best part is to imagine the look on the cashier's face. Each cashier you see offers a new level of hilarity.