That's the promotion currently being advertised on the radio for Two Harbors Ford. "Buy a TRUCK, Get a GUN." With every purchase of a Ford truck, you get a 12-gauge shotgun free of charge.

Now, before you start thinking I'm going to go off on some liberal pinko bedwetter anti-truck anti-gun rant, I want to say that I'm not opposed to trucks. I've seen some sweet trucks in my time and I really wouldn't mind owning one if gas were cheaper and if people wouldn't bother me to help them move. And I'm not anti-gun, either. I grew up in a house full of guns, and they never bothered me. My mom hated them, but my dad always said, "There are two things I love: guns and knives." So the guns stayed. So did the knives, for that matter.

But still, "buy a truck, get a gun." Wow. That is like a to-do list for the apocolypse.

Even considering my gun-filled childhood, this concept freaks me out as a non-gun-owner. "Buy a truck, get a KILLING MACHINE." And once again, I reiterate that I realize that there are things in this world that need killing (vermin, food animals, religious solicitors...) but this is just weird.

I'm trying to think of an equally strange promotion catering to other special-interest groups. "Buy a truck, get the Torah." "Buy a truck, get some tofu." "Buy a truck, get the morning-after pill."

I love it. It boggles the mind.