Next Tuesday, I turn 34. I'm not panicking. But I'm not all that excited, either. Because this will be my last year in the infamous "18-to-34-year-old" demographic. I love being in that demographic, and I suspect that for a few more years at least, much of what is said about that demographic will still apply to me. Well, at least the stuff about the tail-end of the age spectrum.

I don't give a rip about most aspects of aging. I sincerely believe that people get better with age, mentally at least, and when I hear people in movies say "Oh, to be 18 again," I literally wince. Thirty-four is WAY better than 18. Or 23. Or 29.

But there's one thing that scares the hell out of me, and that is the huge number of people who fail to middle-age gracefully.

Really: Is there anything more pathetic than a 45-year-old man? I know a lot of 45-year-old men, and some of them are really cool people. They've got a lot of great things going on -- good at balancing family and career but still have energy for creative outputs and other kinds of growth. They're healthy and vital.

But others...ugh. You look at them and the first thing you think is "perv." Unfortunately, this route seems to be the norm.

Women are no better. Plenty of them seem to go completely psychotic as soon as they hit 40. Maniacal, irrational, fearful. You don't want to take that route, because being adult should be all about being strong. You don't have to play the petty gibberish anymore. Well, not so much anyway. But then again, high school never ends, or so the song on the pop radio station tells me.

An online friend of mine once told me that we are going to end up being a generation of grandparents who are still obsessed with Boba Fett. And while that is in some ways completely annoying, maybe in that idea there is hope. We've been trying to recapture our youth ever since we hit puberty. And we're really good at it now.

All I know is that I have always felt exactly the age that I was at the time. And I still do.

Next week is birthday week, beginning on Saturday (12/9) and ending the following Sunday (12/17) with inevitable bleeding over on both ends. Wait. That didn't sound very good at all.

Stay tuned to this blog and to PDD for details regarding the annual Birthday Rally in Spirit Valley, to which you (yes, you) are invited.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to climb into my Lexus and cruise the area high schools for chicks. With my sunglasses perched up on top of my head, of course.