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Still more douchebags

August 23, 2007 :: :: Teck | Textuality

I really meant to go back and get this toolbox's name, but that didn't happen. So for the purpose of this post, let's just agree to call him "Chad."

Christa needed a new laptop. Seriously. I'm not exaggerating when I say that the old one sounded a lot like a weed wacker. Whenever she started it up, I was always surprised that it didn't require a pull-cord. That, plus the inability to download or upload anything, ever. It was time for an upgrade.

We headed to Best Buy, because that is pretty much the only place that sells laptops in this neck of the woods. And that is where the hilarity began.

"When you go on the internet, which is the World Wide Web, and you are not protected, you can get viruses," one of the Best Buy friendly team members warned a couple. We walked away a couple of steps to make our laughter less obvious. "Just like a virus in your body, like when you get sick, your computer can get sick. Just like when your body doesn't work right, your computer doesn't work right. You have to protect against that."

Christ. We were in for some bullshit. That was certain.

We snagged a friendly team member to call our own and started a dialog about a laptop in the proper price range. Enter Chad.

"I have to ask, what do you want to use this computer for?"

"Writing. Photos. Music. Internet."

"OK. Just to let you know, this computer isn't powerful enough to run Windows Vista," said Chad, a smarmy, virginal little fucker with black hair and glasses.

"What?" we said.

"Yeah. When you turn it on, it'll power up, but that's about it."

"Ooooookaaaaay. So can you sell it to us with Windows XP?"

"No."

"Well, maybe we can install Windows XP when we get it home."

"Yeaaahh. Uhhhhh. That's probably not going to work."

"OK," I said. "So you sell RAM sticks right? We could just upgrade the RAM."

"Well, you could. But even then, it's going to be slow at multitasking. If you want to do a lot of multitasking, it won't work."

"What's 'a lot' of multitasking?"

"I'd say, running three to ten programs at once."

"Three to ten?" Here is where we begin openly laughing. "So, what you really mean is three. What you're saying is that if you're writing something online, uploading pictures, and listening to music, it's gonna crash."

"No! Not crash! Windows Vista is the most stable operating system ever made! It just won't work, because it'll be too slow."

"Okaaaay," I say, thinking about a stable operating system called Linux. "Still. Three programs is too much? That's unacceptable. What do you suggest, then?"

"Well, we have these other laptops over here ... a little more pricey, but ..."

Oh. OK, "Chad." Whatever you say. "Uh. Yeah. We're gonna need to think about this."

I utterly loathe the sales mentality. I'm sorry if that's how you make you're living, but I don't see how anyone could ever sell anything for a living and not feel like a glorified telemarketing shitface. I especially hate it when I totally know what more about the product than the friendly team member.

Douchebags. Douchebags one and all.

Chad, may you never make love to a non-virtual woman as long as you live, you weaselly little fuck.

Comments

What really sucks about the whole deal is that they're getting PAID to know less than they're supposed to know.

I went through a very similar ordeal at BB. I had some fun with the salesrep by looking at all of the expensive computers, asking about all of the extra add-ons, and eventually settling for the one I had initially decided on before I even got there.

As for myself, I have a Mac but not everyone can afford to go that route.

We later did some shopping around and talked to other salespeople at Radio Shack, etc. who were very knowledgeable and helpful. They also laughed at the Best Buy story, saying that the employee was either 1) completely misinformed or 2) attempting to upsell.

Not all salespeople are douchebags. Just the ones who wear dark-blue polo shirts and still live with their parents.

YEAH! I, too, had a horrible BB time when I bought my digital camera with three kids in tow:

Him: ARe you *sure* you want a camera with that many megapixels? (he then looks at the three kids in tow)

Me: yes.

Him: Now if you bring it back, you are going to have to pay a restocking fee. You understand that? It can be expensive.

Me: Yeah. I think if I can afford the camera, I can afford the restocking fee...oh, wait a minute.

Let's see: Best Buy doesn't manufacture the PCs it sells, nor does it install the operating systems that are suspect, yet Best Buy is the villian.

K.

If the experience is so utterly loathesome there and their products are so unagreeable, why would you even breach the doors? Surely the PhD candidates at Office Max can hook you up with a new XP machine, right? Don't tell me the Nobel Laureates at Computer Renaissancesince don't know LINUX like their ABCs. Hell, any other place is better since the only social rejects in the Twin Ports are in blue shirts.

If you know so much more about computers (your claim) that whoever you encounter, why would you do the dog & pony show? Just pick something off the shelf and go, or buy something online (BBY services more Dell machines than any other brand, BTW).

I'm looking forward to your criticism of Perkins for the way they preapare steak.

I love how people think it's somehow the customer's fault when a salesperson attempts to upsell.

The fraudulent practices I've described above are completely unethical and borderline illegal. Unknowledgable people walking into the store are certainly fooled time and time again.

Somehow, by your logic, Octaneboy, these customers deserve it, and anyone who witnesses it should never complain.

As I pointed out in my above comment, other salespeople at other establishments said that they hear stories all the time about Best Buy salespeople misrepresenting their products.

Finally, I am not out to be a consumer crusader here. I'm just out to get a few cheap laughs.

... and i just wanted a cheap computer.

My favorite thing about Best Buy is their persistent practice of making the product you are interested in purchasing seem like total crap for the purposes of selling you A)extended service contracts or B)some more expensive version of the thing you're trying to buy.

I once had a Best Buy employee use the phrase, "they don't built them like they used to" while trying to push me into a service contract for a cheap-ass disposable boom box.

I know, I know...they are trained this way, and the service contracts, etc. are a big part of their pay. I get it. But I also don't shop there, for that very reason.

In parting, I would like to say that I am actually married to a sales person, and a good one. But if he used those tactics to try to get romantic, the man would never even see me naked.

I bought my laptop from best buy when i was alone. i was a woman with no clue what i needed, and i needed a computer fast. i later found out i was talked into about $1,000 worth of crap i didn't need because i wouldn't use it, and crap i didn't need because it wasn't required for my computer to run. the salesman didn't even know what he was selling me, or was banking on me having no knowledge of what was necessary. he certainly succeeded. then we hear their buddies in the geek squad look at our private pictures. what a great company.

The State of Connecticut recently brought Best Buy to court on charges of bait & switch. Apparently, customers were going to Best Buy expecting a price they had seen on Bestbuy.com. Salespeople would then refuse to give customers the lower price, directing them to a fake Bestbuy.com kiosk within the store. The kiosks were not even connected to the internet, but instead displayed a website-like screen which was "virtually identical" to Bestbuy.com, and even used the Bestbuy.com logo. The kiosk listed the higher, in-store prices, and salespeople informed the customers that they must have misread the website when they looked at it at home.

Connecticut Sues Best Buy

Also check out 5 Things Best Buy Doesn't Want You to Know, written by a former Best Buy employee. In short he states that Best Buy salespeople are officially expected to be as knowledgeable as possible, but are also expected to learn about products only on their own time. They are trained in "barely legal bait and switch schemes," sell open-box items without informing the customer, sell unneeded cables whenever possible, and push the extended warranty above all else.


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