You know those height-measurement things they have near the exits of stores and fast-food joints? The ones put there so cashiers can quickly assess the height of the fleeing scumbag who just robbed them? I think those things are hilarious.

Here's why: They measure down to four feet. Four feet! Whenever I see that I imagine a little four-foot robber guy, wearing a black-and-white striped prison outfit and an iconic burglar mask, scurrying away while clutching a canvas sack with a dollar sign printed on it.

Then I imagine the cashiers talking to the police:

"He was, like, four and a half feet tall."
"No he wasn't! He was only four feet tall. I saw him run out the door."
"Dude. He has to at least be four-three. He came up to, like, here."
"Anyway, he drove off in a blue Pontiac with, like, 25 other guys."

On the other end, however, they only go up to about six and a half feet tall. WTF? What happens if some Andre the Giant-lookin' mofo decides he's gonna make off with the rack of Baked Lays at Subway? The sandwich artists are never going to get the description right.

"He was, like, eight feet tall."
"Dude! He was at least eight-six, maybe even eight-ten!"