Last week I wrote about some of the pilots and premieres happening on network TV. Here's some more. (Damn I watch a lot of television.)

Pushing Daisies

This very well might be the most chaste TV show ever made. A pie-maker named Ned can bring dead people back to life with by touching them. But if he touches them again, they die forever. When he brings his childhood love interest back after she is murdered, they immediately fall in love again. But they can't touch each other or, God forbid, kiss. The whole thing is told in a fairy tale style, much like the movies Big Fish and Edward Scissorhands. It's cute and I'll keep watching, but I can't help feeling that this will be cancelled about halfway through the season and become a cult classic on DVD.

The Big Bang Theory

I want to like this show, but it falls way short. The premise is simple: Two overeducated dweebs live across the hall from a hot, but stupid, chick. One of the dweebs is into her but he's too dweeby to pull it off. The problem is this: *that's the entire show*. The nerds, as well as their nerdy friends, are completely interchangeable. The only difference is that one of them (you can tell who he is because he was Darlene's boyfriend on Rosanne) likes the girl. All of the dialog is lifted straight from your high school physics book, and really, it's a one-joke show. Plus the hot chick really isn't even hot.

I removed it from TiVo.

Dirty Sexy Money

Holy freaking mother loving Jesus! This is definitely the best show of the season. That guy from Six Feet Under is reluctantly acting as lawyer to COMPLETE EFFING LUNATICS. The pilot begins with a montage of all the beautiful people you will meet, and from first glance you know who they are and what they are all about, and it's fantastic. Plus, Seth Cohen's non-Summer girlfriend from The O.C. plays a Paris Hilton clone, and she's our favorite, don't you agree? Scratch what I said earlier - this isn't just the best show of the season. This is the best TV show the grace the airwaves since Dynasty.

Chuck

As I mentioned before, it's amazing that I can suspend my disbelief long enough to enjoy this show. But the fact remains that I just like Chuck. No parkour this week, though.

The Office

I have to admit that I don't like the new hour-long version of the Office. Sure, it's just as funny as it always was, but unfortunately, there's the same number of jokes per episode. That means that while it used to be an incredibly dense, laugh-filled riot, it now feels watered down. Diluted. Jim and Pam are together at last, so be prepared for a breakup in the season finale.

30 Rock

Yes! Not even a cameo by the mouthbreathing Jerry Seinfeld could taint this premiere, because Tina Fey is constantly funny. Perfect delivery, references to Tay Zonday, Alec Baldwin ... this show has it all. Plus, it's 30 minutes long, the way comedies were meant to be. I want to marry this show, while wearing Tina's pathetic spinster wedding dress.

The Family Guy

Worst. Episode. Ever. An hour-long parody of Star Wars? With 80% of the jokes relying on intricate knowledge of Star Wars? Laaaaammme. (And trust me, I have intricate knowledge of Star Wars ... it was the first movie I ever saw on the big screen.) Typically, The Family Guy is easily the funniest show on TV. The premiere? Uh, not so much. Luckily, they're so far in the black jokewise that it doesn't matter.

The Sarah Silverman Show

Christ. See 30 Rock.

Heroes

Hiro Nakamura is *still* in ancient Japan, and is *still* acting like a total dipshit. He used to be one of my favorite characters. Luckily, Peter Petrelli has really stepped up to the plate, preventing me from writing this whole series off as a bad Star Trek flashback and giving up.