Throughout my life, I've had a whole list of things that I choose to believe. These are not things that I actually believe, but rather things I have made the conscious choice to believe despite knowing better, simply because it's more entertaining.

For example, while if I were pressured I'd probably admit that I really believe the opposite, openly I believe that human beings have never walked on the moon. The whole thing was done with special effects in a TV studio. Meanwhile, millions of people sat by their TV sets, enrapt, weeping tears of joy for humanity's accomplishment, and all of them were fooled.

Lots of younger people who were not around for the experience actually believe that the moon landing was a hoax created by the government. They have a point. I mean, if it really happened, why haven't we been back? Maybe it was pointless and foolhearty to begin with. Maybe it's too expensive and too risky. But really, if we went to the moon tomorrow (or next year, or the year after that) would you believe it to be true?

The real truth, for me at least, is that it's a lot more fun to believe that the whole thing was fake. I like to think of President Kennedy sweating bullets after he promised the world that we would do it. I like to imagine all the eggheads at NASA wracking their brains, fiddling with their sliderules, screaming, "WE CAN'T DO IT! WE JUST CAN'T DO IT!" Then I like to imagine some intern in the back of the room nervously raising his hand and asking everyone in charge why we can't just fake the goddamn thing. Oh, it's the greatest story never told.

Another thing it's fun to believe in is shadow people. You know how you'll be sitting there, staring at the TV or off into space, when suddenly you'll see a shadow whisk by out of the corner of your eye? That's a shadow person, running around your house. It isn't a good thing, as you can imagine. But which is better: 1) You just saw a shadow. 2) You just saw a shadow person. The choice (and it is a choice -- remember that) is clear.

It's incredibly stunning how few people these days believe in leprechauns. I mean, do you actually want to live in a world without leprechauns? Apparantly, the answer to that question for most people is "yes." Most people are stupid.

One day when I was a kid, we were all out playing in the street when someone looked up and noticed a huge rainbow in the sky. We talked it over, and agreed that finding the gold at the end of it was something that we could actually do. We scrambled onto our bikes and zipped off, pumping away at top speed, but we never found the end. Nevertheless, I ate Lucky Charms every day for a week after that. It was funner than hell.

Whenever I see a ship on Lake Superior at night, I know that it's just another ship. But I choose to believe that I'm seeing the ghost of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Lake Superior itself, of course, is full of sea monsters. But when a black cat crosses my path, it isn't bad luck. That's just another mangy alley cat. Because there's no fun in being negative.