Every month or so, the same conversation pops up somewhere or another in this city. Duluth is many things, of course, and one of the things that Duluth is, is a college town. And of all Duluth's faces, "college town" is perhaps its ugliest.

Since I don't have a day job and I don't have kids, I don't mind the college kids at all. To me, they're a constant source of entertainment. There's nothing funnier than people who drink every day and don't know how to handle their liquor. I step out on the porch nightly, laugh my ass off, and only call 911 if I actually see violence, which I do about once a month. I see people fall down three times a week. I see grown women drop their pants and urinate in the street about every ten days.

Whenever there's a discussion about college students in Duluth, some 19-year-old pipes up and exclaims that none of us adults remember what it's like, that it's hard being a student, that there really isn't a problem. To them I say this: If you think it's hard to be a college student, wait until you enter the real world. Just wait. Because compared to college, life is retardedly difficult. If we don't remember how hard things were in college, it's because that memory has been eclipsed by the enormous horror of everything that happened afterwards. That's not to say that life is bad ... far from it. But college? C'mon. That was easy. Some day when you actually start living on your own, you'll toughen up and learn how to use a toilet.

If I were to videotape the things that happen outside my apartment (yes, apartment, because I, too, rent) on any weekend night, and post it on the internet, it would be an embarrassment to this entire community. Like I said, I don't care about it because I don't have a day job or kids. I either watch it and laugh or ignore it and keep watching Bionic Woman.

Our community is constantly up in arms about this topic. Laws are being made. Obviously there is a problem. I think if I were one of the many responsible students who are offended by the new laws, I would not blame the lawmakers, or the general public, or even the schools. I think I'd blame my fellow students. They are the problem, after all.