Every day, I get out of bed and put my T-shirt on backward.

Seriously. Every day. I'm not exaggerating. Most of the time, I look at the tag first, pull it over my head in such a way that I think the tag will be in the back, and then realize it's on backward. Other times, I just leave it to random chance, just pulling it over my head without looking. You'd think that would result in me putting my shirt on correctly around 50% of the time. It doesn't. I always put my shirt on backward.

Some days, I don't even notice. Some days, around 8 or 9pm, I'll realize that my neck feels a little weird. Then I'll look down and see that once again my shirt is on backward.

This has been going on a long time. I think it was on my third day of high school that someone pointed out my backward shirt to me, which was pretty embarrassing because that shirt actually had a graphic on the front of it. I guess I never noticed that the shirt that formerly said something suddenly said nothing. Someone had to tell me about it so that I could correct it.

It's pretty disheartening to realize that I'm nearly incapable of mastering something so complicated and technical as a T-shirt. I mean if I start my day with that kind of failure, what promise can the rest of the day possibly hold?

Maybe I should start wearing button-ups. Oh, god, on second thought, that could be seriously embarrassing.

Maybe I'll just stay in bed all the time. Shirtless. And happy.