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Fire Fantasies

December 28, 2007 :: :: Textuality

I always expect the place where I live to burn down when I'm not home.

Back when I lived near the freeway (which was pretty much my whole life up until a few years ago) I'd crane my neck and expect the worst every time I had to ride by home on the interstate. On the school bus as a kid, in cars as an adult, I fully expected to my house or my building completely engulfed in flames whenever I saw it from a distance.

There's only one variation on that expectation: Sometimes, I expect it to just explode before my very eyes.

I thought I was over it, since the place where I live now isn't visible from any major road. Tonight, however, as I was driving down the hill, I saw a pillar of smoke rising from the general area of my neighborhood.

Great. I must've left the toaster plugged in.

Is everyone like this? Or is it just me?

Comments

I'm like that, too--my whole family is, I think. (Well, maybe not the part about buildings spontaneously exploding.) I've always chalked it up to a sort of Midwestern "if it can go wrong, it will" mentality, but maybe it's more widespread than that.

i do this even outside of driving past. everytime my landlord calls, i think he is going to tell me my house exploded.

i live in a fire friendly neighborhood. in a wood structure.

Not only in my life have I always thought I would come home to my house burned to the ground, I have been known to call my house just to make sure the answering machine picks up. If it does, I know the house is still standing.

I have been thinking for several days, and I can now say: No, I don't worry about my house burning down. I'm good at collecting anxieties, though, so maybe later.

I think my wife is secretly like this. If she ever somehow gets it into her head that we possibly left the iron plugged in, we MUST return home. We've been an hour away, and had to turn back. It starts as, "I'm positive I unplugged the iron." Then turns into, "I'm pretty sure I unplugged the iron." Eventually, it devolves into, "Honey, we have to go home, I'm positive I left the iron plugged in." (The iron has never been left plugged in.)

I've chosen to find it endearing.

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