Every time Apple announces a new product, I get excited. All of this started when I bought a 40Gb third-gen iPod back in 2004. That thing served me well and I completely wore the crap out of it. In the three or so years I used it before dropping it on the floor and wrecking the hard drive, it was my constant companion. It perfectly suited my lifestyle at that time, and I loved it.

So tonight as I think about camping out to get the new iPhone that comes out tomorrow, I have to keep imagining that device's place in my current lifestyle. And I absolutely cannot.

Most importantly, I don't have any way to carry it. My current phone fits neatly in my pants pocket. The iPhone is designed for women and for guys who carry a murse. I'm not going to carry a murse. Ever. Also I'm not going to walk around with an iPhone in my hand at all times. And I'm not going to start wearing cargo pants either.

Second, I don't spend that much time on the phone, nor do I spend that much time listening to headphones anymore. I used to have a job at a desk where I listened to headphones 8 hours a day, and the 3-G iPod's weak battery couldn't even keep up with me. Now I have a job around huge noisy machines that like to crush little electronic things into sand.

Third, I really don't want to become one of those people who checks their email in the elevator. Not that I ever ride elevators, but you get the idea. Having been internet-obsessed at various points in the past -- and still leaning in that direction in the present -- I've come to the conclusion that I'm much happier and healthier when I experience life in all three dimensions. There's no need to feed bad habits.

So the iPhone is not for me. Pardon me if this post was boring, but I didn't write it for you. I just wanted to make this point to myself.