barrettchase.com

barrettchase.com
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Sat, 19 Mar 2011

Like everyone else on this planet, I've spent my entire life listening to people who are older than me talking about the negative effects of aging. And the whole time, I've truly had the belief that none of it will ever apply to me. That's right -- all these things that have literally happened to every single person in the history of the human race? That's about other people. I'm special.

If you share this belief (and I'm assuming that you do on some level, since nothing this stupid can be all that original) you'll start to make a lot of excuses as you notice the normal process of aging begin to work its way with your body. Whoa, whoa, whoa. This lethargy? I must not be getting enough B12. These wrinkles? Antioxidants! I've been slacking when it comes to antioxidants!

And that is part of a larger problem that Americans have, which is the equally stupid belief that whenever anything negative happens to someone, it's because on some level, they deserve it.

Americans think bad things happen to people only because of some mistake they made. People are poor because they are lazy. People have heart attacks solely because of dietary choices (or, ironically, because they worried too much about their own health and got too stressed out). The reason behind this is simple: If bad things only happen because of poor choices, it's possible to have only good things happen to you if you figure out the appropriate choices and stick to them.

Unfortunately, no one has actually had a worry-free life yet. Ever. Because the entire reasoning behind this idea is idiotic and selfish.

Shit happens. Bad shit happens. For reasons completely beyond your control. All the time.

I'm not saying that your choices have no impact on your life or the lives of others. Obviously people eat, drink, and smoke themselves to death every day. People build factories that unleash chemicals and give cancer to entire neighborhoods. But just you watch from now on. Whenever someone delivers any kind of bad news, the listeners immediately start asking questions, the point of which is to figure out just how exactly the victim is to blame for what happened. The subtext of the questions is, "Is this going to happen to me? No, no, it isn't. I don't wear those kinds of clothes in that neighborhood."

I don't live where earthquakes happen.

I don't eat simple carbohydrates.

I went to college and majored in a practical field.

I practice the only true religion.

I'm going to live a happy life, forever.

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