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Tue, 10 Jan 2012

I don't want to out myself as someone who watches ABC Family, so let's just say that I happened to slip and fall on the remote control, which fatefully switched the TV to channel 54. No, wait, let's say channel 732, because this scenario looks a lot better in high definition.

Here's something I've noticed: All of the teenagers on ABC Family are constantly drinking coffee. Actually, they never seem to literally drink coffee, but they are always pouring themselves a cup of coffee as they talk to their moms about the heavily organized day ahead of them. At other times, they walk around casually gripping a thermal travel mug (usually color coordinated to match their outfit) or a basic white to-go cup from a coffee shop.

Is this real? Something tells me this isn't real. I don't know a lot of teenagers, but the ones I do know never drink coffee. When I was a teenager, no one drank coffee except for the special-needs girl who drank it at room temperature out of a mayonnaise jar, punched out windows, and swore at passersby in French. Coffee was an adult beverage, and if you tried to sneak some, you'd be reprimanded about how it would stunt your growth and destroy your nerves. The gallons of Jolt Cola I drank until I was a quivering mess, however, was just fine apparently.

There are several possible explanations that I can imagine.

Teens really do drink a lot of coffee in 2012.
Teen shows on ABC Family are actually written for adults, and the coffee is a sneaky, subliminal way to allow then to better identify with the 16-year-olds on the screen.
Some sort of conspiracy theory about corporations presenting a sexy image to teens involving a hectic, coffee-driven lifestyle in which they are multitasking superconsumers.
The shows are simply written by adults who drink a lot of coffee and are out of touch with actual teens.
The coffee is one of many examples of who the characters on the shows are written several steps ahead of the average teen, since young people generally don't like stories about where they are or where they've already been, but where they are possibly headed.

[filepath: /assessment/television]