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barrettchase.com
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Tue, 08 Feb 2011

It snowed this morning, and I wanted to write a tweet that said, "I love when it snows, because then Minnesotans are shocked and dismayed on Facebook by the fact that it's still winter in January, rather than by the fact that once again Monday has followed Sunday." That's way longer than 140 characters, and I tried few times to edit it down to size before giving up. There's already too much bile on the internet anyway. No use adding to it.

It's true, though. Minnesotans constantly complain about the weather, as if it has ever been balmy at this time of year, what the old timers would call, "the hard winter." Up until January, winter is easy. Up until January, winter means Christmas and presents and pies and quiet nights by the fire. In January and February, everyone's inner Jack Torrance comes out to play. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

I, on the other hand, love the hard winter. It's this time of year when I actually begin to dread the end of winter, and what that brings. I hate on December 22 when people become fake excited that the days are getting longer (yeah, like 10 seconds longer or something like that). You know what I hate? Long days. June. There's nothing worse for a nightshifter than the sound of birds chirping at 3:30am. For me, daylight means the end of the day, the end of the fun. I hate when that comes early.

In the wintertime, sleeping is great. I don't know the exact number, but there's something like 14 hours of darkness right now, and when the sun does manage to creep up above the horizon, it doesn't really have its heart in it. It puts in a weak effort, then heads back down for the night. Meanwhile, I'm drinking energy drinks and doing karate kicks. I don't need the sun. That's what I have a vitamin D prescription for.

Sure, you have to dig you way out of your house every couple of days. Sure, it physically hurts to be outside. But it's quiet out there. It's dark. And it's pretty.

I think if you live here and you don't like the winter, you might need to reevaluate your life choices. Because winter in Minnesota lasts a long, long time.

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