TITLE: Perfect Duluth Day is Broken. AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 8/25/2005 11:13:00 AM ----- BODY:

If you don't know what I'm talking about See, there's this other blog called Perfect Duluth Day (which I won't link to because there's no point) with 150 members and it was just fine until recently. What happened Well, it all comes back to this video of a kid dancing on stage to "I Love Rock and Roll." People on PDD liked it, and were a lot nicer about it than I expected, which was a pleasant surprise. Then it got leaked out to some nasty sites. You know what I'm talking about. Sites made by and for people who enjoy misery. There are a lot of people on these sites; it's surprising how many Beavises and Buttheads there are on the Internet. Anyway, long story short, our server got slammed. "Unmetered" bandwidth does not equal "unlimited" bandwidth. I'm not sure how it works, but for whatever reason, even though the video has been removed from the server, very few people can get through to PDD. Perhaps they have turned off the tap, so to speak. What we can do First of all, I'd like to hear from anyone who has any ideas about what exactly is going on and how this type of thing works. Our host, Doteasy, has been great up until now. Replies to Starfire's emails have come back vague, and all of them suggest we get a dedicated server for $100/month. This is not an option. Right now, we're in sort of a holding pattern. This doesn't just affect the PDD community, it keeps me from vlogging, since that was where my video files actually reside. It also keeps Starfire from doing anything on Le Garage, since that site is a PDD subdomain. Anyhow, it is a good time to regroup and rethink the whole Perfect Duluth Day thing. Perhaps we need to revamp the site. I've dreamed of changing the whole thing over to something other than Blogger -- perhaps Movable Type or Word Press. It's getting toward the end of the month, and while I hope things will change after the first, I'm not betting on it. I'm looking into other hosting options for this site so that I can once again post videos, but the thought of overage fees concerns me. Once again, I'd appreciate any insight that anyone might be able to offer. Leave a comment or e-mail bchase@gmail.com. Thanks. -------- TITLE: Bumper Sticker Idea AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 8/24/2005 01:27:00 PM ----- BODY: 94% of those who wander are, in fact, lost -------- TITLE: The End of the Party AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 8/20/2005 11:50:00 PM ----- BODY:

If things are going to go too far, this is when it will happen.

-------- TITLE: Oh, fuck it. My'zwell. AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 8/19/2005 12:09:00 AM ----- BODY:

-------- TITLE: Let's Hear it for Sufjan AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 8/16/2005 11:21:00 PM ----- BODY:

When a good friend of mine described Sufjan Stevens as "bridging the gap between arty and wacky," and "hometown proud," (this last uttered in a breathless sigh of admiration) I knew it was worth hopping over to the iTunes Music Store to hear some samples of his latest album. Boy am I glad I did. You know that saying about roller-skating through the art museum? How, if the painting doesn't grab you in the time it takes to roll past it, you shouldn't be interested? That's how I feel about Sufjan Stevens. Ten seconds into my first 30-second sample clip, I knew I was going to buy this album. (Luckily, I chose "Chicago," which is a single currently being played on college radio.) Entitled Sufjan Stevens Invites You to Come On Feel the Illinoise, this album is currently driving me insane with its awesomeness. Reviewers always make musical comparisons when they talk about new music, and if I were to do that, my comparisons would be: 1. Stereolab (Sufjan employs choirs, trumpets, xylophones, and rounds, but not always) 2. Iron & Wine (the soft singing style is quite similar) 3. Devendra Banhart (funky name and long, long song titles; my favorite is "To the Workers of the Rock River Valley Region, I Have an Idea Concerning Your Predicament, and it Involves an Inner Tube, Bath Mats, and 21 Able-Bodied Men") 4. The Postal Service/Death Cab for Cutie (that whole arty-but-poppy thing) Illinoise is Sufjan's third album, and the second in a 50-album series about the 50 states. Greetings From Michigan: The Great Lakes State was the first, and you can bet it's on my wish list. Right now, I listen to Illinoise in two ways. The first is to just put it on as I'm doing other things, and during these times, I like the upbeat songs the best, songs like "Chicago" and "Casimir Pulaski Day." But when I really listen, I like the soft acoustic songs, which are somewhat -- no ... very -- creepy. "John Wayne Gacy, Jr." is nightmarish tribute to one of the worst serial killers who ever lived. "He dressed up like a clown for them, with his face-paint white and red. And on his best behavior, in a dark room on a bed, he kissed them all." The most lurid verse is the last one: "And in my best behavior, I am really just like him. Look beneath the floorboards for the secrets I have hid." My favorite song is "The Seer's Tower," a piece of American Gothic mythology that transforms the mundane into the phantasmigorical: "In a tower above the earth, there is a view that stretches far, where we see the universe, I see the fire, I see the end." Another great song is "They are Night Zombies!! They are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back from the Dead!! Ahhhh!" which has the important historical figures of Illinois rising from their graves for fear of being forgotten: "We are awakened with the ax. Night of the Living Dead at last. They have begun to shake the dirt, wiping their shoulders from the earth." All the while, harmonizing women sing, "I-L-L-I-N-O-I-S." Could it get any better than this? No. No, it couldn't. Buy this album. Now. -------- TITLE: Imaginary friend, you are maginary to me. AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 8/16/2005 09:02:00 AM ----- BODY: Here's something that only one or two people know: When I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend. It wasn't anything like the imaginary friend relationship you see on TV and in movies. My friend didn't have a name or even a face. I would never think of saying something ridiculous like, "Mom, don't stand in front of Jean-Claude!" In fact, I held those kids and their idiotic friends in contempt. At the time, if someone had asked me if I had an imaginary friend, I would have said no. I never thought this being was real. And as I said, it never had a name. But in retrospect, that's what it was. My friend was a blank slate. It had no personality whatsoever, and knew absolutely nothing about the world I lived in. So in my head (never out loud) I would have to explain whatever I was doing or whatever was going on, in terms that were simple at first but eventually extremely detailed, really thinking about whatever task it was instead of just doing it. Maybe there would be questions and maybe I would answer them. It was fun to think about things in this way. This friend stuck around a lot longer than you would think. Most people think that imaginary friends are a toddler thing, and maybe they hang around through kindergarten. This one stuck around well into my teens, and beyond. In some ways, it is still here. At some point, when I was about 10, the explaining stopped and transformed into a more general type of fantasizing. I guess you would call it daydreaming. But it was still the same feeling -- a feeling of stepping outside of real life and thinking about things from a different perspective. Questioning things. Examining things and wondering why they were as they were, if they couldn't be different, and what if. To this day, if I don't get some good quality personal time every day to just live in my own head, I kind of go nuts and feel extremely stressed. I've come to the conclusion that daydreaming is essential to my well-being. This website is a product of my relationship with this imaginary friend. If you think about it, it isn't much different from the one-sided dialog I had when I was 7. The time I spend writing here is a sort of productive, public meditation, among many, many other things. I've explained on this site before that when I write, I go right out to lunch. The world around me dissolves, and I completely enter a trance which is, not surprisingly, a lot like the trance that you enter when you read a good book or get absorbed in a movie. Suddenly you are no longer sitting on your bed in the lamplight. You don't physically exist at all anymore. You are pure energy. I think a lot of people have stuff like this, but no one discusses it. Which is understandable because, well, why would they? It's a personal thing. -------- TITLE: I also miss taking still pics. AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 8/13/2005 01:59:00 AM ----- BODY:

-------- TITLE: Wow. AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 8/07/2005 05:11:00 PM ----- BODY:

Here's Nathan Anderson of Dance Escape performing at the 2005 Miss West Duluth pageant. Thanks to Ca-chee for the video. [NOTE: VIDEO REMOVED DUE TO BANDWIDTH ISSUES] -------- TITLE: How to Be Bad AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 8/05/2005 02:30:00 PM ----- BODY:

Mark Madden, a 23-year-old shopkeeper, collects books, with a special interest in "the best books ever written by and for men." Nick Hornby's About a Boy, Chuck Palahnuik's Fight Club, and (with tongue in cheek, hopefully) David Bowker's From Stockport with Love rest in a special cabinet in his book shop. The shop, which Mark's father financed for him, is failing miserably. And by all standards of manhood, so is Mark. He is clumsy and obsessive-compulsive. Like his hero Rob Fleming from Nick Hornby's High Fidelity, he is prone to making top-five lists as a way of distancing himself from the world around him. At the age of 17, he walked in on his girlfriend, a drop-dead gorgeous girl named Caro, having sex with their art teacher. This is what you need to know. So, at the age of 23, with ruin upon him, Caro steps back into his life with definite opinions of what it means to be a man: "As you know, I used to be into all that feminist shit," she said, blowing smoke across the table. "But now I think women have thrown the baby out with the bathwater. Sure, it's useful to have a man who can wash and iron clothes. It's also useful to have a man who keeps calm in a crisis. A man who would kill to protect his family." Mark's father, whom Mark has always wanted to please, has a less diplomatic view: "You've got to fight your own battles in life," said Dad. "The only man you can depend on is you. Your grandfather worked in the stone quarries at Weymouth. Day after day, a dozen blokes breaking rocks with bloody big hammers. Now, they were hard men. There weren't any women there, women couldn't have done the job. You wouldn't have got Granddad talking about his feelings. He may have cried sometimes. If he did, he kept it to himself. That's what a man does. He does what he has to do." And while Mark has this attitude in his soul and these words in his ears, the gorgeous Caro proposes this offer: That she, the one dream of his life, will finally be his, body and soul, if he will kill three men -- her father, her ex-boyfriend, and Jesus. It's little to ask, really. Bowker's writing style is light and fast, nimbly sketching unlikely characters and thrusting them into the crime genre. There is no complexity here, and that works because none is called for. At its root, this is a crime novel about an inept Bonnie & Clyde, and Bowker does a fantastic job of arranging its few elements with balance and artistry, not to mention humor. The one hole in the book is the question I kept asking all along the way, which remains unanswered: What is it about Caro, aside from her looks, that makes her worth killing for? In most ways, she's downright dispicable. She shows no traces of the kind of loyalty she demands from Mark. And while Mark timidly learns to be a man of action instead of a man of words, no one ever brings up the second aspect of what it means to be a real man. Sure, a real man "does what he has to do," but also, he doesn't walk through life blindly following his prick. This is a minor flaw, however, since it belongs more to the characters than it does to the writing. In fact, Bowker's talent for making us care about what happens to these ridiculous people is impressive. -------- TITLE: I highly doubt it. AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/31/2005 11:25:00 PM ----- BODY:

Is there anyone out there, aside from Ca-chee, who understands this kind of beauty? Is anyone willing to see The Devil's Rejects with me? It may be awhile before I have a night off. But email me if you like this stuff. I for one love it. -------- TITLE: Rootbeer AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/31/2005 01:25:00 AM ----- BODY:

It should be a rite of passage for every freshly purchased car in the Twin Ports -- head to A & Dubs for some drive-thru.

[Quicktime | Music by The Beastie Boys] (Note to out-of-towners: This is A & Dubs, not A & W.) -------- TITLE: Found Poetry AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/31/2005 12:03:00 AM ----- BODY: So I'm at work inspecting a customs tag on a foreign parcel yesterday, and in the "contents" section it says this:

18 artificial tears and 1 used towel

That's the fucken story of my life right there.

-------- TITLE: More things that give me joy AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/29/2005 01:58:00 AM ----- BODY: Text blogging. OK, I know I switched everything around and this is "The Product" now. But damn, that last texty binge felt good. I'm a writer at heart and this journal style really appeals to me. So manifesto be damned, I'm gonna do this more and more. But I'll still vlog too. My mom's healthiness. So, last fall, my mom almost died. I don't mean to be blunt, but that's the truth, and I had several meltdowns on this site, which I erased along with everything else I'd ever written here, because I felt everything was getting too personal. I always intended this to be just a comedy blog afterall. Ho hum. Anyway, my mom was so buzzed when I last talked to her. Her last doctor's appointment was really fantastic; he told her that every time he sees her, she's doing exponentially better, which is crazy since when she was in intensive care, he didn't expect at all for her to make it. She's been getting out of the house, making social calls, and that's just awesome. Driving home from work. When I was a kid, my parents rarely went anywhere after dark. My most memorable after-dark times in a car were on Christmas Eve. We'd go to my aunt and uncle's house, my dad would leave sometime after dinner, and my mom and I would stay until everyone else had gone. Then my uncle (a US Postal worker, no doubt) would drive us home. It was always quiet in the car. The dash was well illuminated, and the radio was tuned to some quiet, unfamiliar station. Now I listend to KUMD on my trip home, and I get the exact same feeling. I almost expect to see stacks of presents under a tree when I get home. But alas, the only excitement is maybe a blinking light on the answering machine and you, dear Internet. I love you so much. Lifting stuff. My god, I love lifting heavy objects at work. Which I do all afternoon. I fill them sacks with mail and I lift 'em. I always volunteer to drag around "cans" (huge canisters of mail that weigh 470 pounds empty) whenever I get the chance. It's like being payed a whole shitload of money to go to the gym. Tonight someone gave me a T-shirt and I was told that this person never gives anyone anything without begrudging it; so I must have impressed him. That's awesome. I will lift and throw as much as I can. When I was a college student, working in factories to finace my way toward a liberal arts education, I promised myself that I would never do blue collar work, because that's what everyone in my family does. But it turns out that I like it very much, plus I'm working with lots of liberal arts majors. See, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to do postal work, but you do have to be quite intelligent to get the job in the first place. This means you are surrounded by people who are very smart, but just want to have a job they can be well compensated for and then go home and enjoy their lives. I work hard and I am well compensated. I enjoy my life. What more can I ask for? -------- TITLE: Starfire on Rocketboom AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/28/2005 11:36:00 AM ----- BODY: A-list videoblog Rocketboom interviewed field correspondent Chuck Olsen yesterday about Minnesota Stories, and showed Starfire's "Hungry Cyclist" video. Whew. That's a mouthful. Watch the Rocketboom segment here. (NOTE: I had some trouble with the default download, which I think is BitTorrent. It kept crashing my browser. So you may want to choose the Quicktime or WMV version. Rocketboom is savvy enough to provide all that crap.) -------- TITLE: Gettin' all texty 'n' stuff. AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/25/2005 05:08:00 PM ----- BODY: Or, Life Improvements

Recently, I've embarked on a series of life improvements. I haven't mentioned them here, because I think it's good to be well underway with these things before making announcements to the public at large, for risk of later embarrassment. But really, I've been very serious about these improvements, incessently scribbling detailed plans into Moleskine notebooks, complete with pie charts.

Improvement 1: Get a real job, and money. I was worried about this one for awhile, because the easiest path led straight away from Duluth, which I was only about 40% willing to do. For awhile, I seriously considered moving to St. Cloud for a job with the Postal Service. Luckily, I was able to snag a USPS job right here in the good ol' Twin Ports, where I can live 7 blocks from an inland sea. My job right now has some fairly intense mental and physical demands, which I'm sure will become easy as pie once I adjust to them, but it's nice to be challenged for a change. Plus, there is a bit of a ladder which right now involves getting a regular schedule and holidays off. But in the meantime, it's actually kind of fun. Improvement 2: Acquire a car and a license to drive it. I've been bussing/biking for too long. With money in my pocket and a ramblin' sensibility, I needed some sweet wheels. Or if not some sweet wheels, at least a used Ford Escort with low miles and no rust. I passed my tests with flying colors and I'm ready to roll. Watch for more remote vlogging in the future. Improvement 3: Make apartment comfy. For the past several years, I've been living as though I'm about to move, and I did move twice in two years. Now, I've got me some swank living quarters my friend, and I plan on staying here for awhile. It was a shame how long I lived even in this apartment with cardboard boxes and a half-empty, echoey space. Now, for the first time in my life, I'm a table owner. I've been picking up odds and ends as I see them, and when I can afford it, I'll be acquiring some art. (Soon, I'm picking up a Russell Gran painting which is hot, hot, hot.) Improvement 4: Draw comics again. The huge expanse of time between Ripsaw issues has been nice for a lazy guy like me, but also, I miss drawing comics. Maybe this is a premature announcement, but it looks like Ograte will appear as a serial comic in the Transistor. I had kicked around the idea of it being more of a comic book, or maybe even a web-based Flash cartoon, but I think this will be a good way to start introducing these characters and their plight. Also watch for an Ograte website in the near future as well. My other comic, Occam's Razor, will still appear in the Ripsaw as long as they want to run it. Various Others I have various other goals that involve vlogging for Minnesota Stories, eating correctly, learning various computer programs including but not limited to Flash, getting rid of the Green Bay Packers stickers on my car, and generally conquering the universe. Violently, of course. -------- TITLE: C'mon, People. This is Pathetic! AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/22/2005 11:20:00 AM ----- BODY:

A map of area vloggers provided by Vlogmap.org. (Duluth and Chicago are the only cities here with overlap.) -------- TITLE: Speaking of Which... AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/20/2005 12:54:00 PM ----- BODY: The Wall Street Journal reports that Apple is seeking to license music videos for sale in the iTunes Music Store, and perhaps plans to release a video iPod in September. Once again, the big guys are opening a door for us to walk through. -------- TITLE: I Like iTunes. AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/19/2005 12:11:00 PM ----- BODY:

While I really dislike using the new iTunes 4.9 to subscribe to podcasts (I still prefer iPodder -- ironically it seems to work a lot better with the iPod), it's great for videoblogs. When you sit down to watch, all the movies are pre-downloaded, so there's no waiting or buffering. Everything's orderly, and there are links to previous movies in case you've missed some. Check it out for yourself. Subscribe to The Product using iTunes:

(You will first need to download iTunes 4.9 if you don't have it. It's free.) -------- TITLE: Silver Islet, Ontario AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/17/2005 11:15:00 PM ----- BODY:

I got a surprise 5-day vacation this week, which means one thing: flee the country. Thank you Jerree for your hospitality.

[Quicktime | music by Jerree Small] -------- TITLE: The Last Starfire Lounge AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/15/2005 03:40:00 AM ----- BODY:

Six years of good times has come to an end. If you don't know what this means, I can't explain it to you.

-------- TITLE: Vloggercue Midwest AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/11/2005 04:25:00 PM ----- BODY:

The obligatory Vloggercue movie. Some people talk. I just shoot. In social situations, I treat the camera like cigarettes.

-------- TITLE: Amazing Things AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/08/2005 05:43:00 PM ----- BODY: It seems like I see something noteworthy every day. Today, I saw an exploding transformer just behind the Hacienda del Sol. It didn't just go boom; it repeatedly exploded and shot out five or six balls of lightning. Totally awesome. Also, I saw a tiny puppy inside a car on Superior Street. You know how there's that ledge behind the backseat of a car right next to the back window, where people put bobbleheads and stuffed animals and the like? The puppy was squatting on that ledge, taking a poop. I'll keep looking. -------- TITLE: Pickles AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/07/2005 08:03:00 PM ----- BODY:

-------- TITLE: My Life is a Carnival AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/05/2005 10:30:00 PM ----- BODY:

Despite the darkness and seediness, there is fun, wonder, foot-long hot dogs, cotton candy and genuine white tigers. These times are the best times. Happy Independence Day, everybody.

[Quicktime | 2 min. | music stolen from Ben Kweller: "Living Life"] -------- TITLE: Fringe Benefits AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 7/03/2005 08:46:00 PM ----- BODY: Just when I think I'm used to living in the Central Hillside, I step out onto my porch and faintly hear Tone Loc perfoming at Bayfront Park. Please baby baby please. -------- TITLE: Join Us This Wednesday AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 6/27/2005 09:52:00 PM ----- BODY:

-------- TITLE: Vloggeriffic! AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 6/23/2005 10:30:00 AM ----- BODY: >> Starfire on Zip Zap Zop

I love Zip Zap Zop -- a daily news show hosted by a naked freak with a guitar. Today's episode features a question from our very own Starfire. Awesome. >> New Addiction: Crash Test Kitchen

Crash Test Kitchen is a cooking vlog that's informative and entertaining. These people know what they're doing, but they're certainly not professionals. >> New Discovery: This or That!

Finally, there's This or That! an independent burlesque game show with comedy strippers, rauchy games, and other forms of good, clean fun. Prolly not safe for work. -------- TITLE: Self-Promotion AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 6/23/2005 12:14:00 AM ----- BODY:

-------- TITLE: The Pain of Fleeting Joy AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 6/21/2005 10:07:00 PM ----- BODY:

I made this video awhile back, as I was struggling with the dilemma of whether to be ultra personal on the vlog or not. I decided not. [WMV | 2Mb | music: loop stolen from "Single" by Everything But the Girl | video: stolen from Nadja by Michael Almereyda] -------- TITLE: Let's Get Some Tacos. AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 6/19/2005 12:29:00 PM ----- BODY:

"Mild, please."

[Quicktime, 5.8Mb] -------- TITLE: Uh. Um. Wow. I'm not unemployed. AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 6/13/2005 10:47:00 PM ----- BODY: It's been months since it they announced the upcoming closing of the Postal facility where I work, and in the interim I've operated on the assumption that I would have two choices: to move or to quit. But oh no. Heh heh. I have been offered a job at the Post Office in Duluth. Do you realize what this means? I am nearly speechless. Instead of foaming at the mouth about it, I'll let a much more talented writer describe my feelings. Here's a little snippet from everyone's favorite classic, The Jungle by Upton Sinclair.

"Speak English?" "No; Lit-uanian." (Jurgis had studied this word carefully.) "Job?" "Je." (A nod.) "Worked here before?" "No 'stand." (Signals and gesticulations on the part of the boss. Vigorous shakes of the head by Jurgis.) "Shovel guts?" "No 'stand." (More shakes of the head.) "Zarnos. Pagaiksztis. Szluofa!" (Imitative motions.) "Je." "See door. Durys?" (Pointing.) "Je." "To-morrow, seven o'clock. Understand? Rytoj! Prieszpietys! Septyni!" "Dekui, tamistai!" (Thank you, sir.) And that was all. Jurgis turned away, and then in a sudden rush the full realization of his triumph swept over him, and he gave a yell and a jump, and started off on a run. He had a job! He had a job! And he went all the way home as if upon wings, and burst into the house like a cyclone, to the rage of the numerous lodgers who had just turned in for their daily sleep.

-------- TITLE: Midnight in Sauce Town AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 6/12/2005 11:55:00 AM ----- BODY:

Riding from the North End bars to the Twin Ports Brewery on a rainy Saturday night in Superior, Wisconsin. Decrepit is the new pretty.

[WMV | 7Mb | music: Tom Waits - "New York Mood (A New Haircut and a Busted Lip)"] -------- TITLE: The Storm Approaches AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 6/05/2005 10:59:00 PM ----- BODY:

Either I've got to stop vlogging the weather, or I've got to apply for the weather position on Rocketboom. Um. I'll stop vlogging the weather. Download [WMV, 11Mb] -------- TITLE: Roofelson AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 6/03/2005 02:10:00 PM ----- BODY:

Ruvelson's investment-house has an incredible 360-degree view of the Lake and the Ghetto. The roof is four stories up and has easy access ... if you're half monkey. Download the video [WMV | 7Mb | music: "Glassy Dusty" by Grandaddy] -------- TITLE: New Camera AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 6/02/2005 06:46:00 PM ----- BODY:

Here's me wandering around with my new Mini DV cam. I have to say it's a pretty boring video, but I do wax poetic about what it means to vlog. On a side note, the Pioneer Press article ran again today in the Duluth News-Tribune, but they cut out the quote from me. But hey, the quote was about how I use a crappy camera, so I guess it's irrelevant anyhow. Video [WMV, 8.5Mb] -------- TITLE: Vlog Farm AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/30/2005 03:42:00 PM ----- BODY:

It seems that while I'm out drinking and singing karaoke with my landlord and my ex-girlfriends, other people are making some fine Internet video art. This is vlogging the way it should be. - Lordhelpus ... Bullemhead is back in Indiana for more huntin/fishin/cussin action. - Ryanne's latest video is outstanding. - Hello? posted a great video of Deva, an all-female Devo cover band. I'm so turned on. -------- TITLE: Remnant of my weekend AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/30/2005 11:52:00 AM ----- BODY:

-------- TITLE: Rain Delay AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/25/2005 07:47:00 PM ----- BODY:

I thought I was going to have a lousy day off, but then I realized: I'm not made of sugar, I won't melt. Download the video [WMV, ~3Mb, music by Eleni Mandell] -------- TITLE: The Three Elements AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/25/2005 11:14:00 AM ----- BODY: Every morning, I have a routine. I naturally wake up at 5:28am, and wait, poised, for the alarm to chirp at 5:30. Then I immediately hit the "nap" button, which gives me another 20 minutes to either doze or just lay there waking up. It always takes me at least 15 mintues to summon enough guts to face the day, and this is why I set the alarm this early. When I finally do get up, I put on some water for coffee and proceed to get ready for work. At this point, I almost always hate the entire world. All I want to do is go back to sleep; usually I don't get enough sleep, but I've realized that it's the mornings when I am well-rested that I especially hate-filled. Any thought I have will morph into a thought about whatever the suckiest aspect of my life is at that moment. And so, in this state, I brush my teeth. I wash up. I eat Grape Nuts cereal. Then it's time to leave for work. I put on my backpack, fill my travel mug with French press coffee, and grab my iPod. I walk down to the bus stop, and along the way I experience The Three Elements, and this magically transforms everything. The first Element is morning air. I'm not an early morning person per se; I do my best when I wake up around 9:30. But still, there's something I absolutely love about the outdoors in the early hours, especially in the springtime. It smells incredible, there's hardly anyone about, and it's still quiet and clean. The second Element is caffiene. And not just any caffiene, but really good caffiene in the form of excessively strong, silty java from my French press. It's thick and rich and just delicious. It hits my bloodstream, and already I'm feeling better about life. The third Element is music. I have an ever-changing list of songs that I listen to during my morning commute. Usually, it's heavy on the Eels and Magnetic Fields, but sometimes I listen to songs that I'm thinking of using in my videoblog while dreaming up different shots and angles I might use. The Revolting Cocks' cover of "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?" is the heavy artillery. I listen to that when I need a fail-safe day-starter. With these Three Elements, everything changes. The bus comes and by this time, not only do I not hate my life, but I'm actually happy. Quite happy. I get on, and the pretty girl smiles at me, and I nod. I see the guy who waves every day, the lady who does that thing with her arm, the bald guy in the hoodie. Life is spectacular. -------- TITLE: The Lanesickle AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/22/2005 08:59:00 PM ----- BODY:

Jaysus! I just got back from the LCO Casino in Hayward, Wisconsin, where my old high school classmate "Luscious" Lenny Lane was wrestling with the AWL. Forgive the camerawork, as it's grainy and shaky and generally crappy. But nonetheless, you have to watch this video. [WMV, 13Mb] After this happened, it was kind of difficult to believe. Also in attendance were my new favorites, the High Rollers, as well as everyone's all-time favorite, Baron Von Raschke. I had the Baron sign a photo for Ca-chee's nephew, who is a HUGE fan of "The Claw." Y'know, the thing about Baron Von Raschke, he's a really nice guy. If you want to see this again in professional quality video, watch AWL. We don't get it in Duluth, but it's on channel 45 in the Cities, Saturdays at 11am. This show will air in two weeks, I believe. Damn. Goddamn damn damn. -------- TITLE: I don't know AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/20/2005 05:32:00 PM ----- BODY:

-------- TITLE: FireANT for Windows! AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/20/2005 05:55:00 AM ----- BODY:

I am currently very excited, because at last, FireANT, the world's first video aggregator, is available for PCs. What is a video aggregator you may ask? Well, let's say you have this favorite videoblog called The Product. One minor problem with videoblogs is that you have to visit the site every day to see if there is a new video, and then wait while it downloads before you can watch it. A video aggregator simplifies this process. It knows when The Product has been updated, and will download my videos to your computer as they become available. It can do this while you are sleeping or otherwise away from the computer. All you have to do is fire up FireANT and use it to watch my movies, as easily as turning on your TV. There are already scores of aggregators for blogs and podcasts, but this is the only one for vlogs, and until now it was only available for Macs. So you need to download FireANT, and load in The Product. All the really cool videoblogs are already in the FireANT directory, so subscribing to my feed is easy. Did I mention that all of this is free? That said, the PC beta version of FireANT is still pretty (ahem) buggy. The worst part is that the aspect ratio gets all screwy for Quicktime movies, which is a little bit nasty, since most vloggers are Macheads who post exclusively in Quicktime format. As a PC-using vlogger, I've been concerned about this Mac-heavy imbalance in the vlogging community lately. I wonder, when my videos start up on the clunky Windows Media interface, do you Mackies wince a little bit? I suspect that on a subconcious level, some feel that posting in WMV is akin to wearing an ugly shirt or having slight BO. Sure, it doesn't mean I'm a bad person (or that it's a bad movie), but ... well ... y'know. Conversely, Quicktime is the power tie at the business meeting. It makes the statement, "Look. I'm in your club. I'm one of you." These are my concerns. I just want to make fun movies. But metaphorically speaking, they're my children, and when they go to school I want them to be popular. -------- TITLE: Roller Disco AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/19/2005 12:46:00 AM ----- BODY:

There would be some moving footage from the rink itself, if I could skate at all. Note to self: when explaining to others that you're really no good at skating, be sure to convey to them that you are dead serious, and that you are not just being modest. Still ... fun, fun, fun. Download the video. [WMV, 2Mb, music by Goldie Lookin Chain] -------- TITLE: Sad News AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/17/2005 09:16:00 PM ----- BODY:

I regret to inform you that this evening I shot a stellar video that involved a bratwurst man inside of a toy car. The drama ensued when a black labrador ripped, Godzilla-like, into the car and devoured the bratwurst man alive. Unfortunately, the overzealousness of the dog-actor portraying the Godzilla labrador led to the corruption of most of the video when he smacked his head into the camera during the filming, rendering the making of this movie impossible. Once again, I regret the loss of these files. And the bratwurst. Amen. -------- TITLE: The Product in the press AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/16/2005 05:33:00 PM ----- BODY: Hey! Check out today's St. Paul Pioneer Press for an article on vlogging and some quotes from yours truly. Starfire and Chuck Olsen are also featured. -------- TITLE: What I'm Working On AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/10/2005 10:33:00 PM ----- BODY:

Ograte is the story of Roger Ograte, a depressed man working the nightshift at a nail factory. For a brief moment, he finds happiness. Is it too good to be true? Probably. -------- TITLE: Ladies and Gentlemen, Hotrod Heartthrob AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/08/2005 10:21:00 AM ----- BODY:

Last year I did a pretty good wrap-up of the Homegrown Music Festival. This year, I just have one highlight. It's all you need, really. Download the video [WMV, 1 Mb] -------- TITLE: Eavesdropping is Fun AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/04/2005 08:03:00 PM ----- BODY: Woman 1: So I looked in the cage, and there was an egg! When I got them I didn't know I was getting a male and a female. I got them pretty young, so you can't tell. Woman 2: You can't just lift up their feathers and look? HEE HEE! Woman 1: No. That isn't how it works. It isn't like a dog or a hampster. It doesn't stick out. You can have them sexed... Woman 2: HEE HEE! Woman 1: ...but I didn't. Normally, when they get a certain age, their feathers come in and you can tell what sex they are because the males are prettier. Woman 2: It figures! Just like everywhere else -- CHAUVINISTS. Woman 1: So I guess now I'm going to be having eggs now and then, which wouldn't be so bad except they usually break, and then theres blood all over. Woman 2: You can't get them neutered? HEE HEE! Woman 1: No. -------- TITLE: Two Signs AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/04/2005 07:53:00 PM ----- BODY:

-------- TITLE: What I Really Want AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/03/2005 06:04:00 AM ----- BODY: If and when I ever become a homeowner, one of the dreamiest features of my home will be the two-dishwasher system. Yes, you heard me right -- two dishwashers. The idea is that you never have to put away your dishes. You just take them out of the "clean" dishwasher as you use them, and when they are dirty, you put them in the "dirty" dishwasher. When all your dishes are dirty, you run the "dirty" dishwasher, and reverse the process. Ah, bachelorhood. -------- TITLE: Dialog AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 5/01/2005 02:03:00 PM ----- BODY: Her: The trick to looking glamorous in photos is that you have to open your mouth when you smile. It makes it look like you're having the time of your life. See, watch...don't I look like a girl on a magazine? Me: Yeah, like Terry Schaivo on the cover of Newsweek. -------- TITLE: So True AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 4/27/2005 04:22:00 PM ----- BODY:

"The building looks like a gym on the inside too, with the letter lines spread out over the floor where the carriers sort, and an enclosed catwalk extending along the walls above them and across the middle, just over their heads. The catwalk belongs to the postal inspectors, the Postal Service's cabal of regulatory enforcers: every six feet there's a one-way window where they can peer out. You never know when they're in there; you never see them. Sometimes you hear their slow footsteps, if you happen to be under the catwalk when they pass overhead. Like a goose on your grave. "Are they there as a matter of course, or only when someone's suspected of something? Nobody knows. What do they wear? Suits? Uniforms? Do they carry weapons? Uncertain. Those who have seen them have only seen them for a few seconds, and remember little: a sideburn, a mole. They can come out anytime and flash their badges and cuff you and drive you to Elmira and interrogate you until you break. They can imprison you. That is, if you've done anything wrong. Like what? "Stealing mail. Opening mail. Destroying mail." --from Mailman by J. Robert Lennon

-------- TITLE: Making Beer w/Barrett & Paul: Pt. 4 AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 4/26/2005 05:55:00 PM ----- BODY:

Tasting: The Final Chapter Download the video [WMV, 4Mb] -------- TITLE: In the Attic Again AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 4/24/2005 08:56:00 PM ----- BODY:

So, you see, Lundgren and I have known each other for about 20 years now. And today, something interesting happened. His parents finally found out that we used to hang out in their attic. Why we hung out in their attic, I don't quite know. But we did. The thing about roofs and attics is that they need to be refurbished and re-insulated now and then. Imagine the surprise when the roofers came and found not an empty attic, as they had expected, but an attic full of the detritus of two West Duluth hooligans. We had to go fetch our stuff. And of course, I had to bring my video camera. Download the video. [WMV, 9Mb] Also, be sure to check out my "cross post" on Perfect Duluth Day for more attic fun. -------- TITLE: I changed my iPod battery. AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 4/22/2005 09:11:00 PM ----- BODY:

Nervewracking and exciting! My iPod's battery really started crapping out on me, so instead of shipping it back to Apple for the $99 battery replacement, I ordered a new one from macsales.com and did it myself. The new battery is supposed to last up to twice as long as the original. I'll try it out at work tomorrow and see. Download the movie. [WMV, 7Mb] Update: The process was actually a lot easier than I expected it to be. The hardest part was opening the damn thing, and after that it was just a matter of being careful. I tried out the new battery at work on Saturday, and it lasted my entire 8-hour shift, plus the ride home, and still had plenty of juice to spare. After the first 3 hours of listening, the battery indicator was still at the same point it would have been after just 20 minutes with the old battery. In short, there is no reason to pay $99 to Apple, as long as you are very careful and very confident. DIY. -------- TITLE: Check this out. AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 4/19/2005 07:06:00 PM ----- BODY: I'll be back with new posts as soon as I recover from watching this. Videoblogging at its finest, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, yeah, there's lots of profanity, so be careful. -------- TITLE: Griddle AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 4/16/2005 12:35:00 PM ----- BODY:

One of the best features of my new apartment. Download video [WMV, 4Mb] -------- TITLE: Point by Point AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 4/15/2005 04:48:00 PM ----- BODY: Here's a meme I'm stealing from this site, which I found via this site. It is, in my opinion, the best way to appreciate a song. "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley I. Things Mr. Astley is never gonna do A. Give you up B. Let you down C. Run around 1. Desert you D. Make you cry E. Say goodbye F. Tell a lie 1. Hurt you II. Things Mr. Astley is currently doing A. Thinking of a full commitment III. Things Mr. Astley plans to do in the future A. Tell you how he's feeling B. Make you understand IV. Things you and Mr. Astley have been doing simultaneously A. Knowing the rules B. Knowing what's been going on C. Knowing the game 1. Mr. Astley predicts you will play it V. Things Mr. Astley does not want you to do A. Tell him you're too blind to see B. Get this from any other guy "Just Lose It" by Eminem I. Things Eminem has touched on A. Everything but little boys 1. Is not a stab at Michael a. Is just a metaphor i. Eminem is psycho II. Facts regarding Friday A. It's Eminem's day 1. Plans to party a. All the way to Sunday i. Maybe 'til Monday, Eminem is not sure what day 2. Plans to cruise on the freeway a. Will feel kinda breezy i. Top down ii. Allowing hair to blow iii. Someone will touch Eminem's body at unknown destination III. Requests Eminem makes A. From Everyone 1. Report to the dance floor 2. Stop a. Pyjama time 3. Lose it 4. Just go "huhhuhhuhhuh" a. It's so appeasin' B. From Boy (Oops, I mean Girl) 1. Shake that ass 2. Touch my body C. From Kiddies 1. Come here a. On Eminem's lap D. From Good God 1. Dip 2. Do a little slide 3. Bend down a. Touch your toes 4. Glide down the center of the dance floor a. Like TP for Eminem's bunghole 5. Let one go a. Give a little "poot poot" b. Who'd hear it? i. Nobody E. From Miss 1. Punch him in the stomach 2. Pull his hair 3. Spit on him 4. Gouge his eyes out F. From Girl 1. Name 2. Sign G. From Fellas 1. Grab your left nut a. Make your right one jealous IV. Facts regarding Tuesday A. Eminem is locked up in jail 1. Has no recollection, yet claims innocence 2. Was apprehended "butt naked" 3. Yelled at old lady to "touch my body" a. On videotape V. Types of girls Eminem is calling A. Black girls B. White girls C. Skinny girls D. Fat girls E. Tall girls F. Small girls G. All girls VI. Dr. Dre's assessment A. "Man you must be up out your mind." VII. Things that happen at the part when the rap breaks down A. It gets real intense 1. No one makes a sound B. Everything looks like it's 8 Mile VIII. Things Eminem says when he doesn't have any lines A. Chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba chubby B. Chubby Teletubbie -------- TITLE: The pansy and the wisenheimer AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 4/14/2005 10:18:00 PM ----- BODY:

I love this picture.

-------- TITLE: Gartman's Massage AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 4/14/2005 05:14:00 PM ----- BODY:

Gartman returns from his first-ever massage with stories to tell. Click here to download. [WMV, 6.38Mb] -------- TITLE: Dumb Things Found On Envelopes AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 4/11/2005 08:38:00 PM ----- BODY: You wouldn't think so, but mail is really boring. Sure, it's sort of interesting at first, but once you see your 10,000th letter (which is probably sometime on your first day of USPS employment) you realize that envelopes are not much to look at, and if you do happen to glance a little too long at a postcard, you'll undoubtedly learn about the weather in some bland vacation spot. I'd like to see mail art, but I never have. The most interesting mail by far comes from prisons, where inmates draw elaborate pictures on their envelopes. [The top three most popular inmate drawings: crosses, hearts, and Garfield.] Every now and then, however, you come across something stupid written on a piece of mail. OK, it's not that stupid to the layperson, and I was probably guilty of this stuff, too before I figuratively donned the blue. But man. I get tired of it. And so I vent, but uh, only as a public service. Avoid the following to receive better service, or to diminish your expectation that such measures will help. 56828IL23814700OO////////56R5721212111110O6 | Officially the worst of the lot. Take a look at all that crap on your junk mail or your magazines, you know, the stuff that isn't your address. That crap actually means something, and I have to deal with it all day long. Many companies are nice and make the numbers less than 10 digits long, while others insist on a good 20-digit alphanumeric string to get them started. Make lots of repeating characters, and use a font that makes it impossible to tell the difference between the letter O and the number 0. That rocks. For some reason, the worst culprits are tobacco companies and Christian evangelists. Do Not Bend | My, oh, my. This one makes me roll on the floor, holding my belly and laughing in hysterical sobs. See, you don't realize this, but mail runs through all kinds of horrendous Rube Goldberg machines with all kinds of claws and teeth and evil nature. And while we try not to harm anything, we don't sort each of the (literally) tens of thousands of letters we see every day by hand, carrying them around on silk pillows. We dump them by the tubful into the letter-eaters. If you don't want your letter to, ahem, get bent, then pack it accordingly. Do Not Discard | Generally, you only find this on mail that is absolutely worthless. Because, if you have to say it, then well, it's an issue, isn't it? No one writes "Do Not Discard" on anything important, such as their electric payment or their letters to Grandma. Doesn't Live Here! Return to Sender! | OK, this is an honest enough mistake. I've probably done it myself in the past. So, we accidentally sent some mail to your house for the people who used to live there. All right, mistakes happen. But it doesn't get returned to sender. It gets forwarded. What I love is when the person takes a Sharpie and angrily inks out the name and address, so that we have no idea whose mail this is, or the old address, so we can't send it on. Nice. Thanks for the help. Postmaster -- Deliver Immediately -- Men's Golf Information | 1. Yes, the postmaster inspects every single piece of mail to see if there is a message for him on the outside. 2. Uh, yeah, 'cuz we were gonna just hang on to it for awhile and deliver it next winter. 3. Oh, please. -------- TITLE: Geek Prom 2005 AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 4/10/2005 01:51:00 PM ----- BODY:

The obligatory Geek Prom 2005 highlight reel. I missed a lot of the action, but that's why we all need to vlog. Click the pic. [WMV, 3.46Mb, music by Arling & Cameron] -------- TITLE: Making Beer w/ Barrett & Paul: Pt. 3 AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 4/05/2005 08:47:00 PM ----- BODY:

I'm sure you're wondering how the beer is coming along. Here we are bottling. Soon, we will be able to taste. Ahhhh, taste. Pic is clickable. [WMV, 6.72Mb] -------- TITLE: Phone Troubles AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 4/04/2005 08:26:00 PM ----- BODY:

Click the pic, as usual. [WMV, 4Mb] -------- TITLE: Just to Cement it in Time. AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 4/03/2005 08:59:00 PM ----- BODY:

I am all moved into my new place. Starfire finished refinishing, the floor is dry, and a lot of my stuff is stowed in the appropriate places. Once I make the place prettier, I'll post more pics and videos. For now, here's a little vid, just to cement this move in time. Click the pic to watch. [WMV, 1.58Mb] -------- TITLE: Movement AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/28/2005 05:58:00 AM ----- BODY: Sitting on my floor, cross-legged with the keyboard on my knees...boxes all around...piles of junk and wires strewn about...one chair left in the house...how am I going to move all these records...and this thing, maybe I should just throw it away... So I'm moving this week, bit by bit. What kind of a mover are you? Are you hyper organized, ready to pick up everything at a moment's notice? Or are you a pack rat who attaches sentimental value to the smallest scrap? Do you get attached to your apartment? Do you get sad when you move? I have always been excited to move to a new place, but never so much as this one. The former tenant told me yesterday that it is the best apartment in Duluth. Plus there's the panty. Oh, the pantry. I'll post pictures later this week. I'm sure my landlord Starfire has installed a pee-cam by now, too. -------- TITLE: The Beauty of Junk AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/25/2005 04:56:00 PM ----- BODY:

I don't know why I'm so fascinated with eyesores. Anyway, yesterday was beautiful, and here is an account of my walk from downtown Duluth to the gas company, where I signed up for services for my new digs. Click the pic to watch. [WMV, 2.8MB, music by the Eels] -------- TITLE: Creepy Self Portrait AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/23/2005 05:58:00 AM ----- BODY:

-------- TITLE: Draw Me A Robot AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/21/2005 03:06:00 PM ----- BODY: A while back, I asked a bunch of people to draw me a robot. This is what they came up with.

-------- TITLE: Rabbity Good Time AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/15/2005 06:11:00 AM ----- BODY: Not that working with 1980s computers and a constantly running dot-matrix printer isn't a blast, but how can I go to work this morning when all I want to do is stay home and play with this? Meanwhile, Chuck has been spotted danceflashing on Rocketboom. I need to get out more. -------- TITLE: Yeah, I got your morning job right here. AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/13/2005 09:52:00 PM ----- BODY:

No, I will be fine. I think. With caffiene I will be fine. Update: It is 6am, and I didn't sleep last night. This is gonna be rough. Sigh. -------- TITLE: The 6 a.m. Vlog AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/11/2005 07:00:00 AM ----- BODY:

Here's me walking around at the crack of dawn as it's beginning to snow. (WMV, 1.95Mb, Click the pic to view.) I found out last night that tonight will be my final night working at the REC. Starting Monday, I will be temporarily transferred to the main office where I'll work on the CFS (Computerized Forwarding System) for a few months until I am involuntarily reassigned to Timbuktu. There are some benefits to this. For example, I will work days, have Sundays off at least, and I will get yet another raise in pay. The downside is that I will have to wake up at a time when I'm used to getting off work. *Sigh* This is why my job classification is officially called flexible. I wonder if I'll get to process my own forwarded address. -------- TITLE: Making Beer w/ Barrett & Paul: Pt. 2b AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/09/2005 06:01:00 PM ----- BODY:

This episode covers the ever-exciting topics of sanitization and fermenting. More bathroom humor than ever before! [WMV, 7Mb, music by Bob Dylan] -------- TITLE: The Lake Superior Cacophonic Choir AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/07/2005 09:26:00 PM ----- BODY:

Performing ~8:45pm, Wednesday, March 9 at the NorShor Theatre. Paul Lundgren hogs the stage beginning at 8. -------- TITLE: Reading Material AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/07/2005 04:26:00 PM ----- BODY: Of all the reading material that people leave around my workplace, Living Stones News, a local Christian tabloid, has to be one of the most bizarre. Although I don't agree with a lot of the paper's agenda, I always read Living Stones, because if there's one thing that impresses me about the power of religion, it's the power it has to get people to talk about things they never otherwise would. Take this month's issue for example. The lead story is about a man who is trying to overcome his addiction to porn and masturbation. The whole time I was reading it, I was trying to imagine any other local publication, such as the Reader Weekly or the Ripsaw approaching someone and saying, "What we'd like to do is write a feature article about your outrageous masturbatory habits. We want to use your real name, and have a big picture of you on the front page burning a porno mag." Do you think anyone would go for that? Most of the lead stories in Living Stones are about sex, drugs, or something equally lurid. There's this article where a couple talks about their infidelity and drug addiction. This man attempted suicide 12 times. And then there's the man who gave up overworking, drinking and fist-fighting. As I said, I don't agree with most of this paper's world view. Take the porn guy for example. All along the article talks about his obsessive Bible studies, but it never mentions that perhaps that obsession contributed to his obsession with normal bodily functions by casting them in an evil, forbidden place. The rejection of moderation is never a healthy thing in my opinion, and this is just one of the sore spots I have with this paper. Still, slanted though it is, the honesty in these stories is refreshing compared to most of the canned crap being published these days. And I can't help but imagine someone attempting to print similar stories without the Jesus angle, in a more objective journalistic spirit, without judgement or political purpose. Who's doing those interviews? -------- TITLE: Making Beer w/ Barrett & Paul: Pt. 2a AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/06/2005 11:23:00 AM ----- BODY:

In this episode, we explain the ingredients used to make beer, and begin our brewing process. Click the pic to watch. [WMV, 12Mb, music by AC/DC] -------- TITLE: The People Have Spoken AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/06/2005 11:15:00 AM ----- BODY: So, I had a little poll over there on the sidebar for a week to see how you folks feel about downloading video. Here are the results. 81.82% said they watch the videos. This is good. No one said they don't watch the videos due to a dial-up connection. 9.09% said they don't watch the videos because they view the site at work or on a public computer. 4.55% said they don't watch the videos because they don't know how. 4.55% said they don't watch the videos because they're not interested. This is good news. My apologies to the people who can't watch the videos at work, etc. And if clicking on the pic or link doesn't bring the video up for you, I don't know how to instruct you further. Find a geek and ask him/her about it. Thanks for the input. I'm always trying to make this site better. -------- TITLE: Ograte Bowling AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/04/2005 06:05:00 AM ----- BODY:

-------- TITLE: The World is Made of Plastic AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/03/2005 07:26:00 PM ----- BODY:

I love these shiny, icy snowbanks we have these days. Anwyway, here's some photo phun I had in front of my house. I don't get it either. -------- TITLE: Making Beer w/ Barrett & Paul: Pt. 1 AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/02/2005 04:07:00 PM ----- BODY:

The first in a series of intructional videos about the delicate art of homebrewing. If this project were The Lord of the Rings, you could consider this episode to be The Hobbit. As always, click the pic to download. [WMV, 4.84Mb] -------- TITLE: Thirty Days Notice AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 3/01/2005 04:03:00 PM ----- BODY: Subtitle: An Open Letter to My Neighborhood Dear West Duluth, I am writing to inform you that one month from today I will stop being a West Duluthian and start being a Hillsider. Yes, after a lifetime of living in the 55807 ZIP code, I will move downtown to 55805. This may come as something of a shock to you, but perhaps not. I know we have not been on the best of terms ever since I spent all that time dating that girl from Cakeside. I would like to remind you, however, that she did in fact drive a bitchin' muscle car -- a 1975 Olds Cutlass Supreme in near-mint condish -- and that I did in fact convince her to move to West Duluth. Anyway, I feel it is time for me to broaden my horizons. An inadvertantly wise friend of mine, who now lives in Africa, once said that West Duluth has very few ambassadors out there in the world. I would like to consider myself West Duluth's Hillside ambassador. Yes, yes, I know that Lundgren is already there. But he lives in the Central Hillside. I will be living in the East Hillside, practically a whole mile away. You of all neighborhoods should realize the difference a mile can make. Speaking of which, I would like to emphasize that I will continue to champion your cause, West Duluth. I will continue to point out the vast difference between West Duluth and the West End whenever necessary, and will not allow anyone to get away with confusing the two terms. I will explain whenever necessary that there really aren't that many mullets in West Duluth (anymore), and that West Duluth has the most profitable business district in the city with the exception of the Miller Hill Mall area. I will remind people that Beaner's Central is the best coffeehouse in the city. And I will let people know that if they want to drink $3 quarts (yes, quarts) of beer, there are three bars in West Duluth willing to serve it with a smile. I will consider Miss West Duluth to be my royalty, and try my hardest to promote the Sunshine Cafe. So consider me your ambassador, West Duluth, or perhaps a missionary. Remember, you can take the boy out of the neighborhood, but you can't take the neighborhood out of the boy. See you at the street dance, Barrett Chase -------- TITLE: Immaturity AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 2/27/2005 04:48:00 PM ----- BODY:

I have a 30-minute lunch. It takes only a few minutes to eat a sandwich. I have to do something with my time. Click the pic to watch. [WMV, ~1Mb] -------- TITLE: How to relieve the boredom of swimming AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 2/26/2005 04:36:00 PM ----- BODY: Since tomorrow is Sunday, I have a recommendation for everyone. You know those glossy coupon-magazine pull-outs that come in the Sunday paper? I love those. If you get the Sunday paper, I recommend pulling those out, examining them in detail, and really thinking about the products advertised inside. If these ads are any indication of the state of our society, then, wow, I really don't know what to think. Here is a list of things I found in the glossy coupon ads in the past: - pudding that tastes like pie - pills for losing 14 pounds in 5 days - sausages endorsed by the host of Family Feud - statuettes of John Wayne and Judy Garland under glass domes - big plastic frogs that ribbit when someone walks by - real turkey meat ground up and reprocessed to look like a turkey breast - sweatpants embroidered with flowers - hot dogs with pasurized process cheese food injected right inside - men's slacks up to waist size 60 - "three-dimensional" corn snacks - tartar control cat food - cat clocks that meow on the hour - chocolate flavored vitamin shakes - one-size-fits-all bras - oatmeal with "dinosaur eggs" in every bowl that hatch before your very eyes - salad dressing made to taste like pizza - breakfast cereal made to taste like donuts Once I saw an ad for cereal, milk, and a plastic spoon all in one package, promising to eliminate preparation and cleanup, thus making breakfast easier. Apparantly, people aren't eating enough cereal due to the intensive prepapation and cleanup involved. There are all kinds of ads for people "on the go." This is true: I actually once saw an ad for pretzels that said, "ready in seconds." Who knew that good food is so easy to make? My favorite ad is for a radio that is about the size of a silver dollar and is attached to an elastic band, which you stretch around your head. Earbuds dangle from the elastic band, and the whole works is waterproof. The device promises to relieve the boredom of swimming. The boredom of swimming. Think about that for awhile, and try not to have a seizure. -------- TITLE: Vids of the Past AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 2/24/2005 05:48:00 PM ----- BODY: I started vlogging about a year ago on everyone's favorite community blog, Perfect Duluth Day. I only posted a few movies throughout the year, but I thought it might be cool to have them in one place, so I posted them all below. Click the pics to watch them. -------- TITLE: Superior Insomnia AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 2/24/2005 05:47:00 PM ----- BODY:

My girlfriend lives in the party town of Superior, Wisconsin. One Sunday morning when I couldn't sleep, I wandered around with my camera as the rest of the city slept off its hangover. [WMV, 4.2Mb, music by Johnny Cash] -------- TITLE: The Master In Action AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 2/24/2005 05:46:00 PM ----- BODY:

Jody is the greatest karaoke singer in the world, and he sings at the Keyport Lounge every weekend. This short clip doesn't really do justice to his performance. [WMV, 1.6Mb] -------- TITLE: Hairball AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 2/24/2005 05:44:00 PM ----- BODY:

Last summer I atteneded the Spirit Valley Days Street Dance, where I found this campy hair-metal cover band. They have two singers who alternate for each song, and literally have something like 50 costume changes. They played for three hours, and it was bliss. [WMV, 3.8Mb] -------- TITLE: Geek Prom 2004 AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 2/24/2005 05:43:00 PM ----- BODY:

Geeks getting funky at the Great Lakes Aquarium, April 2004. [WMV, 13.9Mb, music by the Hospital People] -------- TITLE: Saturday Afternoon Madness AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 2/24/2005 05:42:00 PM ----- BODY:

One of the highlights of the Homegrown Music Festival is the Saturday kickball game for the performers. Here's a rare glimse of Duluth's finest musicians in the sunlight, showing off their scrawny rock-n-roll arms and pasty-white skin, and following up their afternoon of exertion by doing some healthy beer bongs. [WMV, 15.7Mb, music by Bone Appetit] -------- TITLE: Why Vlogging Scares Me AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 2/22/2005 09:41:00 PM ----- BODY:

When I first got the idea for The Product, I figured that I would keep my original blog and The Product would be a secondary site, which would be either a video blog or a podcast. And when I really thought about it, I didn't want to do a podcast, because in order to do it the way I wanted to do it, it would have been a serious commitment. And then, there was the problem of vlogging. Video scares me, because while it's OK to make an ass of yourself in print, and it's sort of OK to make an ass of yourself using audio, video is a whole other world. I started thinking about this back when the Justin Hall video came out. I had mini-meltdowns of all sorts on my old blog, but the thought of that happening of video is just horrifying. Still, I want to use video. And I will. And so, with all of that in mind, I made this. [WMV, 3.44 Mb, music by Wild Man Fischer] -------- TITLE: Welcome to the Product AUTHOR: Barrett DATE: 2/22/2005 09:05:00 PM ----- BODY:

Hopefully by now you have read the manifesto and learned the blog that used to reside at this URL no longer exists. I made this decision for many fancy reasons I suppose, but mainly it can be summed up like this: I like to keep things changing. Also, I felt a little too influenced by the two-year archive pressing along behind me, pushing me in directions I didn't necessarily want to go. At two years, that blog is the longest-running journal I have ever kept. But in retrospect, I feel like the whole time I was writing it, I was learning to do something. This new blog, the Product, will be the result of what I have learned. Anyway, enough introduction; come on in and enjoy yourself. There's a freshly cleaned server for us to hang out on (look at all this closet space!) and plenty of material just waiting to be posted. Ok. Less talk, more rock. --------